Why couldn't Carys answer the phone? - She had an ear infection.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

What is Green and taste like an apple? An Apple

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Q: What's funny about prostitution? A: Nothing. It's a widely misunderstood profession.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Last Christmas I gave you my heart... but the very next day your body rejected the transplant and you died.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's brown and sticky? Poop.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

ARE YOU READY FOR THE OLDEST ANTIJOKE EVER WRITTEN: HERE IT COMES....... THE MOST ANCIENT OF THEM ALL...... ARE YOU READY?????? HERE WE GO...... Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side! THAT'S RIGHT. THIS IS IN FACT AN ANTI JOKE - "...ends with such an anti climax...the lack of punchline is the punchline."

thumb_up thumb_down -2

The Bible

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why is your face? Because.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How do you make a baby spin? Put it in a blender and turn it on.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What is the difference between a pumpkin and a dead baby? There are thousands of differences between a dead human and the fruit of a pumpkin plant. One of them is that I didn't choke my wife to death with a pumpkin. Another is that pumpkins have a stem.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A man walks out of a bar followed by the people he came with because they just announced "last call". The man is the designated driver for the night.

thumb_up thumb_down -68

knock knock whose there?? seth oh, come in

thumb_up thumb_down +93

Why did Suzy's neck hurt? Because it was broken

thumb_up thumb_down +61

Knock knock Who's there? The police. You are under arrest for sodomy.

thumb_up thumb_down +55

What do you call a black guy flying a plane? A pilot, you racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Whats funny about a car crash? If a bowl of soup is talking.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why wasn't the bat nocturnal? It was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

So I was making this glass of milk right? So I get the milk out. And I get the soup out.. then I go...wait a minute...where'd the glass of soup come into this glass of situations? *smile+awkard pause because nobody will laugh at this=Success of this anti joke...try it*

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What's worst than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What happened when the asian girl got an 89 on her Test? Her parents kicked her out of their house.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "why the long face?" then one of the costumers calls the health inspector and he shuts the place down because its not sanitary to have dirty horses in bars.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Q: What do you call a black pilot? A: A pilot, you racist

thumb_up thumb_down +9

what do you get when you combine fire and water? alcohol

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops