Doctor, people always laught at me at work! :( What do you do for a living? I am a comedian...

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Why I the kid still at school? His mom was brutally run over by a car

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has he.

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cats are afraid of dogs. mice are afraid of cats. elephants are afraid of mice. bf-2 fighter jets are afraid of elephants. is this true?

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A teenage girl walks into a bar and orders an alcoholic drink. The bartender declines the order as she is under the legal age of purchasing and consuming alcohol.

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How many Polish people does it take to screw in a light bulb? My dad is dead.

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Wanna hear a joke? Womens' rights

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why did the chicken cross the road. why? because he felt like it

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Q: why can't dinosaurs sing? A: because they're dead!!!

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I was in the middle of downloading a porno of two hot girls getting it on, my computer got a virus and crashed.

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How do you call a black man? By his first name.

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Why did the woman fall over? Because she had both of her arms amputated so when she lost her balance she had nothing to counter her weight going forward with an inverse motion.

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There are two people in this world; people who finish their sentences and people who

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how many jews can you fit in an oven? -well zero because the conventional oven cannot fit a full sized human

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When's the best time to go to the dentist? When you have an appointment.

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2 polar bears are standing on a chunk of ice that is floating in the Arctic Sea. One turns to the other and says, 'Dyu know; I keep thinking it's Thursday...'

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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obamas trench

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hey

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What's the difference between a black man and a large pizza One is an ethnicity derived from Africa and One is an Italian dish that is well'ly known in all four corners of the world.

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What do you give a sick bird? First-Aid tweetment.

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Whats even funnier than watching two black guys with guns attempting to shoot people Just about everything

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What's funnier than killing a bunch of orphans? Pretty much anything is funnier than that. What's wrong with you?

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What did the doctor say to the terminally ill patient? Your going to die.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops