The King stands next to a pole. The King goes away, the pole stays there.

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A blond, teen girl with a pink hat and glasses goes to the doctor, and she says, "Doctor, doctor! I keep hearing bees, whislting, humming birds, and Tom Jones! Whats happening to me?!" The doctor says, "Tinnitus".

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Yo mamma's so fat, she should try NutriSystem.

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how many jews can you fit in an oven? -well zero because the conventional oven cannot fit a full sized human

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What do the pope and an orange have in common? They're both fruits. Except for the pope.

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So this guy is driving down the road and he is going real slow, he was going so slow in fact he wasn't even moving, because he was dead.

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whats red and can fall on you blood from a hunted duck.

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Knock Knock! Hmm. I'm not expecting anyone. It's probably just a telemarketer, and I'm not very interested in purchasing anything at the moment. I won't answer it.

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Q. What is green and has wheels? A. Grass, I was joking about the wheels.

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Why were the floors of the movie theaters so sticky? Spilled beverages.

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Knock Knock Who's There? You don't know me, but I just hit a car parked on the street outside your house and I believe its yours, we should exchange information

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both lawyers.

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Q) You know how I know your gay A) Cuz your gay

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Guess what i realized when i became 18? I was 18

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Apple.

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Q: why can't dinosaurs sing? A: because they're dead!!!

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Abe Lincoln, George Washington, George Bush and Barack Obama are sitting at a table at a bar. They discuss politics and time travel.

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Q: Why didn't the Government help the poor little boy? A: Because he was taking a test and that would be cheating.

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What do you call a black person that flies a plane? A pilot.

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Why did the woman fall over? Because she had both of her arms amputated so when she lost her balance she had nothing to counter her weight going forward with an inverse motion.

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roses are white, violets are black, You should probably consult with an eye doctor, for you probably have severe color blindness.

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Roses are red violets are blue i heart my toilet Becuase it holds all my POO!!!!!!!!

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What's green and invisible? This cabbage

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What is black and gray? This rectangle and this text.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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