What's the difference between an elephant and I?Our mass.

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How do you kill a 1000 Ethiopians? Throw a biscuit off a cliff. JimBoto

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Whats the easiest way to solve problems in Haiti? Nuke them.

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How do you spell dog? C-A-T!

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What did one Teacher say to the other teacher? Nothing. The first teacher has a horrible drinking habbit which is getting out of hand, He beats his wife and children each night after his drinks at the bar. His parents have stopped all contact and he found some divorce papers in his wifes draw, also saying she would be getting full costudy of the children. He has lost the majority of his friends and didnt want to loose another one, and kept his problems to himself.

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If file gives you melons, you might be dyslexic

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Don't you just hate it when sentences don't end how you think they TESTACLES

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have five finger and the middle is for you

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Why wasn't the bat nocturnal? It was dead.

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I was sitting in traffic the other day. I got ran over

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Q: What did William Wallace say to Beyonce after Taylor Swift's performance? A: Nothing, because William Wallace has been dead for some time now.

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A. Why did John survive the plane crash? B. Because he was master chief and he is awesom although cortana did not which John is sad about naturally.

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Why does Shaun's dad beat him? Because Shaun is an asshole.

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Why did the bird fall out of the tree?" "Because it was dead?" "No. Becaus it was stapled to the squirrel.

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Baking a cake can be very hard and stressful, just like beating a slut with an axe.

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when ever i finish a sentence say im a man Me :i met a girl You:im a man Me: i invited her to my place You: im a man Me: we sleept together You:im a man Me:she wisperd in my ear You: im a man

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How do you make a doctor upset? Teabag his dying mother

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What do you call a black man running down the street? A promising athlete in training.

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How many dead lions can feed a bluejay? Bluejays don't eat dead or living lions, so this is highly improbable.

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Why did Suzy's neck hurt? Because it was broken

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Person 1: You have something on your head Person 2: What? Where? What is it? Person 1: Hair

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Three ladies were seen eating ice cream. One of them was licking the ice cream. Another was sucking the ice cream and the other was biting the ice cream. One of these ladies is currently married. Which one among them is the married lady? The one with a wedding ring on.

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What's worst than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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Your mama's so old that typical places of business grant her the senior citizen discount.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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