Dont look at me.

Whats worse than dying? Nothing, really.

Susie sells seashells by the seashore. Susie was a schizophrenic bitch who caused irreversible harm to her family and those close to her. She also had underage sex with a black guy named John. He was actually a pretty decent guy, but he decided to smoke weed a couple times when his dad was going through some tough times. His dad resented him for this fact and it caused unresolved tension between them for years. This caused John to go out and seek younger girls to have sex with, to fill the emptiness he and his dad's relationship left him with. Meanwhile, Susie was falling in love with John, not knowing his many dark secrets he had tried best to keep hidden from her. Eventually, all of these things come out in the open, and Susie still respects him and ultimately loves him even more for being so honest.

Did you see Stevie Wonder's new house? No? Don't worry, he didn't either

I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

A man walks into a bar. He sees his wife with another man. That man is his brother.

Why did the pirate fall off his ship? He got pushed off by another pirate

What did Osama Bin Laden say to Hitler? Nothing. Hitler died many years ago now and he was in no position of power during Bin Laden's reign of terror due to the fact that he was already dead. Therefore it is impossible that they could have had any sort of conversation. But now Bin Laden is dead as well. HIGH FIVE!!!!!!!

How does a spider write its diary entries every night? With a pen.

Baking a cake can be very hard and stressful, just like beating a slut with an axe.

What happened after a Mexican drank 4 shots? He got drunk and died in a car accident.

A man walks out of a bar followed by the people he came with because they just announced "last call". The man is the designated driver for the night.

A one legged long jumper missed the world record by one foot.

A man walks in to a wooden door. He's blind.

What's wonderful about babies? They will die sooner or later....All Of Them

Knock Knock. Who's there? James. James who? James from work. Oh, come on in.

Bob- yo mammas soo fat tha.. Joe- I know...

Want to hear a dirty joke? A pig fell in the mud.

What's worse than being a Packer Fan? Walking around with cheese on your hea... oh, wait....

Why couldn't Carys answer the phone? - She had an ear infection.

How many hamburgers can a grizzly bear eat? Maybe 6.

Why couldn't the man find his watch? Because he was mugged by a homeless man and had severe brain damage..... ....and because he left it at the office

How did the ship-less pirate cross the Atlantic? In an airplane.

A black man walked into a bar. Had a drink, and left.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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