A blond, teen girl with a pink hat and glasses goes to the doctor, and she says, "Doctor, doctor! I keep hearing bees, whislting, humming birds, and Tom Jones! Whats happening to me?!" The doctor says, "Tinnitus".

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Person 1: You have something on your head Person 2: What? Where? What is it? Person 1: Hair

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Whats blue and fuzzy? blue fuzz.

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What smells like shit and is covered in cheese? Sean's pizza socks.

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2 polar bears are standing on a chunk of ice that is floating in the Arctic Sea. One turns to the other and says, 'Dyu know; I keep thinking it's Thursday...'

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Why did Nigel decide to lie and remain on the ground? He didn't. Somebody beat him ruthlessly and stole his wheelchair. Nigel has no legs by the way.

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Q: what did the tractor say when helost his farmer? A: wheres my farmer?

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Guess what? what. You guessed it!!

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Why did Jordan miss the bus? The bus didn't miss hitting him.

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why dont black people like cruise ships? they already fell for that trick 400 years ago

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Your mams so fat that she has aids... and i gave it to her

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A black man and a Mexican fall off a cliff, who dies first? They both die from hitting sharp rocks at the bottom crushing their skulls, so it doesn't matter its just really sad.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is black.

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how do you get a clown to fall off a swing? hit it with an axe

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You're a wizard Harry! I am?

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Abe Lincoln, George Washington, George Bush and Barack Obama are sitting at a table at a bar. They discuss politics and time travel.

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why do bananas wear sunscreen? becuase they peel!

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was tied to the chicken

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My Friday was going great until i realized it's Thursday...

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Roses are red violets are blue i heart my toilet Becuase it holds all my POO!!!!!!!!

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Steven Hawking walks into a bar. No he doesn't.

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You don't need to know a girls period schedule. Just look in the garbage.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "why the long face?" then one of the costumers calls the health inspector and he shuts the place down because its not sanitary to have dirty horses in bars.

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How many licks does it take for a pedophile to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? Given a simple random sample of pedophiles, they will most likely have the same statistical standard normal distribution of tongue sizes and saliva efficacy as any other part of the population. Therefore, that question in regards to the tongues of pedophiles is irrelevant and remains unanswered.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops