An englishman, irish-man and a scotsman walk into a bar. Englishman orderds a pint of becks, Irishman a guiness and the Scot a whiskey. Everything is absolutely fine and nothing of even remote interest happens.

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When life gives you Corn Nuts, snack on them while watching your favorite TV show. Then go to sleep early and have a nice, peaceful rest, dreaming about the fun things you'll do tomorrow.

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Bob fell off his roof.

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Q. What do you call a bunch of guys in a shower? A. The Holocaust.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "why the long face?" then one of the costumers calls the health inspector and he shuts the place down because its not sanitary to have dirty horses in bars.

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Why did the black man shoot the white man? The white man was a prison escapee attempting to perform hate crimes toward African Americans by reforming the KKK. The black man was also schizophrenic.

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Two men walked into a bar. The third man ducked.

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What do you call a black man who sells drugs? A pharmacist.

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Whats the easiest way to solve problems in Haiti? Nuke them.

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A black man and a Mexican fall off a cliff, who dies first? They both die from hitting sharp rocks at the bottom crushing their skulls, so it doesn't matter its just really sad.

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Why did the chicken kill itself? To get to the other side.

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knock knock who's there? bell bell who? bellend

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what do you tell a woman with two black eyes? nothing you already told her twice

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why do bananas wear sunscreen? becuase they peel!

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Why are so many children obese? Because they eat to much and they are not physically active enough

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the dog, which also fell out of the tree.

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whats red and can fall on you blood from a hunted duck.

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Did you hear about the circus fire? It was intense

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Why did child's mom cry when he was born? The child had no head.

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How many lemons does it take to fix a lightbulb Lemons can't fix lightbulbs as the don't have a mind,heart or any limbs.Think about that crap.

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A blonde is standing on the edge of a 20-story building. He's had a rather rough life.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders house? No, he hasn't either

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What's the difference between an elephant and I?Our mass.

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Me:I talk to myself to much. Me:Same

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops