A man waltzes into a bar, waving a carrot in the air. With an arrogant air of self-importance he flops onto a highchair at the bar. Looka here, looka here, he says to the bartender, waiving the carrot at the man. Will you buy me drinks all night, if I can make this carrot... Never mind, and please leave my bar, the bartender says, pulling out a carrot from under the counter. I've got one myself.

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A man called his dentist and asked when he should make an appointment. The dentist told him to come in around two thirty pm because that's when the next appointment was available.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why not

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A woman comes to the doctor with a dog and the doctor says: -What are you doing here, dog? Get the hell out of here, you're an animal.

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Whats the worst part about being fat. Your fat.

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Q: Why was the boy sad? A: He dropped his ice cream. Q: Why was the boy mad? A: He dropped his ice cream. Q: Why was the boy in pain? A: Because a clown was ripping off the boys big toes with a hacksaw, all the while causing the small boy emotional pains by killing the boy's orange cat.

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When's the best time to go to the dentist? When you have an appointment.

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how do u piss of a polish man? rape his girlfriend

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What's black and hangs from trees? tires ...and black people

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Joe Paterno dosn't walk into a police station.-South Park

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both lawyers.

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What did Osama Bin Laden say to Hitler? Nothing. Hitler died many years ago now and he was in no position of power during Bin Laden's reign of terror due to the fact that he was already dead. Therefore it is impossible that they could have had any sort of conversation. But now Bin Laden is dead as well. HIGH FIVE!!!!!!!

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Hear the one about the giraffe and the clown? Yes.

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PATHETIC

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Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin says "oh my god were going to die!" The other says "Holy shit a talking muffin!"

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What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: he has a disabling disease. It's called ALS.

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A baby walks into a bar, the whole bar applaudes for the baby boy who just took his first steps.

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A baby seal walked into a club.

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Why did the boy dress up as a zombie? Because it was Halloween.

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Miley Cyrus.

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I grew up, if we cannot live for ourselves, we cannot live for others, remember how people admired us when in their presence, while mocking us behind our backs, most humans do nor respect those that do not rule with lies, false promises, all backed up by an army no amount of civilians can defeat. We lost because people got what they wanted, preferring false promises from all ranging from their Gods, to their politicians speaking about their Gods, promises of betterment as a result of war in the name of Gods, but we are not that people. The problem is, that I used to believe that all of humanity possessed the potential people you and I have, and realize now that when I began looking down at people, I began looking down at myself, considering us all equal to them. Red, we might be few, but we are worth far more than those we consider our equals, maybe it is time even we, sought to rule those that desire to be ruled, rather than to help them find their desired path, because their desired path, might always have been to be ruled.

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Yo mamas so fat, that I need a new pair of sunglasses.

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Hi

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How do you stop a baby from flying? Hit it with a shovel.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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