Roses are red Violets are blue I have five finger and the middle is for you

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How many hamburgers can a grizzly bear eat? Maybe 6.

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I was sitting in traffic the other day. I got ran over

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Har har hey

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why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 8 9 jokes numbers dont have mouths

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You might be a redneck if you are an individual a part of a low social caste in a predominately rural area such as the southern part of the United States or a mountainous area such as the Appalachians or Ozarks who may or may not partake in stereotypical activities such as hunting, fishing or farming And who also lives in possibly degraded living conditions.

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Why did humpty dumpty fall off the wall? Because he was pushed.

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my president is black, my lambo's blue, $14,400,000,000,000 national debt

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So a frog and a penguin were talking and the frog says, " I have some good news and some bad news. The bad news is we're freezing, but the good news is: We have a conoe!".

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Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin says "oh my god were going to die!" The other says "Holy shit a talking muffin!"

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roses are red Jacob's a Jew the holocaust was funny Haha f**k you

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How many Jews died in the Holocaust? Not enough.

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How do you make a doctor upset? Teabag his dying mother

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When the black man was driving his car, why did he stop in front of the gun store? Because his car's velocity reached zero at that location.

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A woman walks into a sex sop, she buys a dildo.

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A padawan walks into a bar. He is promptly ridiculed by his master for not minding his surroundings.

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a man is stranded on a deserted island with no food, water or clothing and he comes upon a magical genie lamp, a genie pops out and tells him that he has three wishes, the man asks for food,water, and clothing, the genie says "of course" the man was elated but then the genie says " but i'm afraid to tell you that genies don't exist and your hallucinating from your harsh living conditions...i'm sorry" the man lived two more weeks before dying slowly...

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What do you get when you cross and unicorn with a loaf of bread? Cantaloupe

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Husband: Shut up, there is now playing for Real Madrid Woman: So what? come help me clean. Husband:after the game,now shut up. Woman:Everyone knows Barcelona better... Police: So you're saying your wife fell on the knife alone?

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Quizno's footlongs are four dollars...

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What did santa say to the little girl on Christmas Eve? Santa isn't real, but pedophiles are.

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A man with a badly injured arm is sitting in a hospital. He says, "Doctor, when my arm heals, will I be able to play the violin?" The doctor says, "With proper medical attention and rest, yes, you will be able to." The man says, "That's great! Before I was hurt, I really enjoyed playing the violin."

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What's brown and sticky? a stick

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A inventor was wandering around the desert one day, then he found a magic lamp, he rubbed on it and thus came up a genie! The genie asked: What do you want? The inventor responded: Meh, no idea... Thy wish is granted, answered the genie. The now ex inventor never came up with something new ever again.. Moral: Huh?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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