Why did the chicken cross the road? He was very mad at his mother, so he ran away, and, on the other side of the road, he saw a ver luxurious chicken coop. In other words, duh.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "why the long face?" then one of the costumers calls the health inspector and he shuts the place down because its not sanitary to have dirty horses in bars.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Q: Why did Temia go to sleep? A: Cause swaq and she was so skuxx!

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What's 7+7? 14 you dumbass

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Men's Rights

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A horse walks into a bar the barkeeper asks 'Why the long face?' The horse, incapable of speaking English, walked around in a circle, excreated and left.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How many boring people does it take to change a light bulb? One.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you do when a bear chases you? Run.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Sometimes, people ask me, "Do you always have to be so obnoxious?" And to that I reply, "I don't always, but when I do, I prefer Dos Equis." Stay thirsty, my friends.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Once there was a man, he was accused of false accusations.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

what would be worse then 9/11 and the holocaust? -if the twin towers fell on a concentration camp

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Chuck Norris is a regular human being, just like the rest of us.

thumb_up thumb_down -70

A man sees Bill Murray at a restaurant in Los Angeles and tells his friends about the incident. They believe the story, because it is entirely plausible that it actually happened.

thumb_up thumb_down -124

What's the difference between George W Bush and a doorknob? George W Bush is the president of the United States. A doorknob is a mechanical device that securely closes a hinged door, thereby keeping your family safe from danger.

thumb_up thumb_down +95

3 jews walk into a bar I lied it was a gas chamber

thumb_up thumb_down +61

Why can't Helen Keller drive? She didn't pass her driving test.

thumb_up thumb_down +59

a man is stranded on a deserted island with no food, water or clothing and he comes upon a magical genie lamp, a genie pops out and tells him that he has three wishes, the man asks for food,water, and clothing, the genie says "of course" the man was elated but then the genie says " but i'm afraid to tell you that genies don't exist and your hallucinating from your harsh living conditions...i'm sorry" the man lived two more weeks before dying slowly...

thumb_up thumb_down +49

What happened the magic tractor? It turned into the feild!

thumb_up thumb_down +43

When Chuck Norris runs, he doesn't even move a muscle.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

My claustrophobia was cured by imagining that all small spaces were naked.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Q: what did the tractor say when helost his farmer? A: wheres my farmer?

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did Nigel decide to lie and remain on the ground? He didn't. Somebody beat him ruthlessly and stole his wheelchair. Nigel has no legs by the way.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

roses are red violets are blue i suck at poetry show me your tits

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Har har hey

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops