A man walks into a bar. He had to leave promptly because he, according to the law, was too young to be served alcohol.

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So you there Red?

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What was the reason for the confused looking woman staring at the can of frozen Apple juice for twenty minutes? Some cans are difficult to open: The little ring bit comes off when you pull it, and then you have to work out a new way to open it, which takes patience and ingenuity.

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whats worse than getting a papercut on the tip of your finger? getting crushed by a refrigerator

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Q Why is an octopus like a tree? A Haven't the foggiest.

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What's the square root of 69? 8.306623862918075

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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You might be a redneck if you spent all day in the sun without sunscreen.

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What did the squirrel say to the dog? "I have AIDS."

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why did the chicken cros the road? Becuase the all the cars were stopped at the near by red light.

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what do you call a cow? A cow

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Whats the difference between an oven and a Jew? An oven is a manufactured and creates heat through the power of electricity or natural gas

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light-bulb? I'm melting!

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Why did the football player go to the bank? He had to make a deposit and refinance his home.

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Knock knock Who's there doorbell Doorbell who Doorbells can't knock

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An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

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What do you say when a black girl asks you out? No!

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Why did Cody sit in the corner? Because his daddy didn't love him. #DaddyDoesn'tLoveYouAnymoreChair

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you want to hear a joke? the goverment.

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they say that cancer can't pass but why do three our your uncles have it

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I saw a man lying on the floor. He ate too much cake.

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the other day i saw a mouse run across my floor. i said "okay" and proceeded with my life

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Knock Knock. KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK. ANYBODY HOME?

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What goes about 36 miles per hour and screams? A baby attached to a ceiling fan.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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