I was sitting in traffic the other day. I got ran over

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I have Alzheimer's, but at least I don't have Alzheimer's.

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How do you kill a crackhead Put her in a shredder and put the remainings in your ex wifes refrigerator

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he has Obsessive Complusive Disorder.

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roses are red, violets are blue, i have adhd, OH A CHEESEPUFF

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Mary once had a boyfriend with a wooden leg; however, itt was a highly dysfunctional relationship, as the boyfriend was much too possessive of Mary. So Mary was forced to bring a close to the relationship.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I am colourblind so screw you!

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What happens when you stick your finger in a pencil sharpener? Blood everywhere.

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What has wings but is often on the ground? An aircraft that has frequent take-off problems.

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the other day i saw a mouse run across my floor. i said "okay" and proceeded with my life

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How do you make a doctor upset? Teabag his dying mother

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Why did Sally drown? She wasn't wearing a life jacket and it was the the seventh time she had fallen off her water skis today. Her father was not coming back this time.

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Well, honestly I don't know how I feel about meeting you yet, or chatting with you, I never believed I would get to speak, or even less meet "The Nero", I mean as far as I know, nobody that ever worked alongside you ever has... ...By the way, the thing with the metal arm, well I don't have both arms, so yeah, story of my life. I am "Eliza" here too, its not coding, its just me sharing my real part of my life with our followers, and well, they do not make much sense out of it, but I get to share the tale about how Nero saved me, if not in person.

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Three men walked into a bar. They looked around, saw that it was pretty crowded, and decided they'd feel more comfortable going somewhere a little less busy down the road.

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Grammar ... the difference between knowing your shit, and knowing you're shit.

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Your mother is so ugly that when she looks in the mirror she feels bad about her appearance.

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Why did Doris have no control over her bladder? Because she was old and suffered catastrophic incontinence

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What did Jerry Sandusky do when he was alone with 3 little boys? Taught them how to play football.

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What did the white cop say to the black thug? he didn't... he got shot before he could say anything

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A. Why did John survive the plane crash? B. Because he was master chief and he is awesom although cortana did not which John is sad about naturally.

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Why does Mike Tyson always win his fights? Because he hides in a refridgerator

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because no human can.

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What's brown and sticky? a stick

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What do you say when a black girl asks you out? No!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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