Two guys walk in a bar, and they die.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had already looked both ways and there was no traffic.

What's the difference between a bowl of chili and a urologist? One's hot and spicy, and the other analyzes urine [Emo Philips]

What do you call a Black pilot? A pilot! What else would you call him, racist!

1: Why did the chicken cross the road? 2: The chicken has a right to privacy, stop questioning what she does

What's big, wet and hairy? Not what you think it is.

What's worse than seeing your grandma naked. nothing.

a man walks into a bar, his alcoholism is slowly destroying his family

A dyslexic man walks into a bar.

Are you from Tennessee? cuz i wanna makeout with your face.

What did the cow say to the bull. they had kids because they shared an interest in being silent.

What did George W. Bush say to his wife when he got home? I'm home.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She didn't have arms.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Yes.

A blonde brunette and redhead all jump off a building. Who hit the ground first? The brunette because she jumped first

When does the narwhal bacon? When the universe looses its realism to the point where every animals' meat is bacon at a certain time, and a person hunts a narwhal at the crack of dawn when there is a triple rainbow and the narwhal's DNA is combined with a pig's just long enough for the meat to be bacon when the person shoots it.

yo mama so dumb that we sat her down to take a standardized, comprehensive IQ test measuring spatial, logical, linguistic, and memorization abilities. Her aggregate score was an 87, indicated she is roughly one standard deviation below the mean of the population, which is not low enough to qualify for government assistance under the Americans with Disabilities Act (1990) but does impede her understanding of more complex abstract concepts and things pertaining to higher culture. In spite of this, she has raised a child of average intelligence, and has retained the same job at Walgreen's for 14 years, People seem to like her because she is polite and rarely late. Your mother is an inspiration to low-IQ people living in high-IQ developed countries, demonstrating that an inability to fully understand abstracts does necessarily lead to a life of meagerness and frustration, so long as you work hard, keep your spirits high, and accept Jesus Christ as your personal lord and savior.

So these two gay guys walk backwards into a bar.

Why did the car slam its brakes on? There was a infant under the bonnet.

How many dead babies can you fit in a trunk? 37.

A padawan walks into a bar. He is promptly ridiculed by his master for not minding his surroundings.

What do you call a black man in space? an astronaut

Knock, Knock Whose there? your friend Oh ok (opens the door) (it was not his friend but instead it was a giant panda who robbed him of his goods).

Why did Doris have no control over her bladder? Because she was old and suffered catastrophic incontinence

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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