How many people can you fit in an oven? A: I Don't know ask a holocaust survivor.

How is it you become the true badass you say? Its a very complicated process that takes decades of training, and many failed attempts on before you become the one, true badass on the entire planet. Once you had done it. People will love you forever, there would be parades, parties, celebrations, even a holiday, just for you and you alone. Too bad I'll never tell you.

Why did the Turkey cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken

What do you get when you put a dog in a cage. Cantaloupes

What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into another apple and finding another worm.

1: Why did the chicken cross the road? 2: The chicken has a right to privacy, stop questioning what she does

Q : What did Piers tell his friend before leaving ? A : Bye.

ey can i pick your scabs plzz

why was the boy sad? his friend got hit by a bus.

Roses are red Violets are blue I am not using commas That is improper punctuation.

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have short-term memory loss. And roses are red.

Why did the teenager write a joke on here? Because after hours of surfing this website and casually laughing at herself she realized she had no life and the only way to feel happy with her self would be submitting her own to here.

What did the girl fruit say to the boy fruit when he wanted to marry her? "No."

Why did the bartender tell the black man to "Get Out"? It was 4 a.m and the bar closed at 3:30 a.m an honest mistake by the man.

What goes about 36 miles per hour and screams? A baby attached to a ceiling fan.

What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Having a refrigerator fall on you

Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Shes been dead for some time now.

Knock Knock. Who's there? Hoo. Who Hoo? You're a barn owl!

Why did the panda fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the second panda fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first panda. Why did the third panda fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the fourth panda fall out of the tree? Peer pressure. -BG_Shank_A

Why did the elephant cross the river? CAUSE YOLO (even though he died)

Knock Knock Who's there? It's actually much safer to look through the peep hole than it is to let a stranger know you are home.

Haiku's are three lines long. This isn't a haiku.

What did Sarah Palin say as she gazed to the West? "I really wish my daughter hadn't gotten pregnant."

Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him. He then donated a vast portion of his wealth to research.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...