When life gives you skittles, throw them at random people and say "taste the freaking rainbow!"

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Why don't white people do the right thing? Because we suck

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What did the man on a business trip to Japan say to his wife on the phone? The nuclear reactor in the next city over is melting down as we speak. If I don't see you again, I love you.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I regurgitate doorknobs

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My friend told me to break a leg before the show. I disobeyed him and injured no one. It's just a figure of speech.

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Why did the boy punch his teacher? Muscle spasms.

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Why did Doris have no control over her bladder? Because she was old and suffered catastrophic incontinence

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Knock Knock Who's there? It's actually much safer to look through the peep hole than it is to let a stranger know you are home.

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I asked my Grandma if she ever tried 69. And she said, “No, but I have done 53 -- that's all the sailors I could screw in one night.”

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Reporter: So, how do you feel knowing you don't have some place to work when you walk out of your house because of that tornado? Guy: "Well, it feels even worse knowing I don't have a house to walk out of. . ."

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Why were there only 5,000 Mexicans at the Battle of Alamo? They only had 1250 trucks.

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What's brown and sticky? a stick

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A man took his son out to play catch. The boy didn't even try to catch the ball. After that the man took his son to the amusement park to have fun. The boy didn't even try to have fun. Then the man took his son to the burger place nearby. Once again the son didn't even touch his food. Finally the man lost his temper and beat his seemingly ungrateful son and cried over the fact that his son was mentally retarded.

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Why did the Mxican eat the taco? Because he was hungry,

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How the hell did Susie get on the swing anyway I don't know you tell me?

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How many people can you fit in an oven? A: I Don't know ask a holocaust survivor.

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Why did Harry get in the taxi? His mother told him to put his seatbelt on.

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A man walks into a barn the n was not visible

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You know you are from New York when you live in Manhattan.

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when life gives you lemmons, chuck em' at beiber

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Knock knock Who's there? The police. Your husband has been killed in an accident.

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"Ask me if I'm a banana." "Are you a banana?" "No."

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Knock Knock Whose there? Lemons Lemons who? The fruit

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How many chickens does it take to screw in a light bulb? Any number of chickens plus one person.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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