Why was Hitler a bad person? He killed himself.

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Why did a blind man buy a violin. To learn how to play a violin.

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What's the difference between Republicans and Democrats? There is a series of boxes which one can choose to check on a ballot, officially registering an individual with a certain party. Available parties include the Green Party, The American Communist Party, The Republican Party, and the Democratic Party among others. Republicans choose to check the Republican box, Democrats choose to check the Democrat box. Also Republicans are closet homosexuals and Democrats are terrorists.

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Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

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How many eco-friendly people does it take to change a lightbulb? Nobody knows because fluorescent lightbulbs last 6 to 12 years longer than an incandescent lightbulb.

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why did the duck cross the road? More than likely there was something that appeals to the duck on the other side such as a pond or duck food. On the contrary there could also be something that did not appeal to the duck on the side from which he is departing from such as a lack of a pond or a lack of duck food.

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Grammar ... the difference between knowing your shit, and knowing you're shit.

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a shed? A: Considering babies are incapable of rational thought it is unlikely they would understand how to employ the correct method to paint.

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Why did Doris have no control over her bladder? Because she was old and suffered catastrophic incontinence

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Yo mama so fat she sells shade. Yo mama so fat she needs cheat codes for wii fit. Yo mama so fat she in call of duty when a player kills her they get a 5 person kill streak. Yo mama so fat that she is fat. :)

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why was the boy sad? his friend got hit by a bus.

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Want to hear a joke? I'm sorry.

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Why did the dog cross the road? He was on a walk with his owner so they used a crosswalk to safely get back home.

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How are you this morning?

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why did the boy fall down? he was shot

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How do you get a one armed blonde out of a tree? Wave to her.

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Let's make like your mother and walk out on your family during pre-adolescence.

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What's green and falls fom a tree? A dump truck. I lied about it being green.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She didn't have arms.

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Chuck Norris is a regular human being, just like the rest of us.

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How do you a baby into a small bowl? Put it in the blender. How to u get it out? Tostitos.

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Why isnt there a womens NASCAR? Because NASCAR does not yet have the funding to start a women's league.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into another apple and finding another worm.

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So you there Red?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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