Are you a tree? No.

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why did the chicken cros the road? Becuase the all the cars were stopped at the near by red light.

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What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Getting rape.d by a giant scorpion.

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Why was the baby going so fast? It was tied to a bus.

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What do you call a kid without brothers or sisters What? a chinese Boy!!!!!!! lol ;)

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Knock Knock. KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK. ANYBODY HOME?

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Why was Tom flunking in school? He had a learning disability.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Shes been dead for some time now.

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How many eco-friendly people does it take to change a lightbulb? Nobody knows because fluorescent lightbulbs last 6 to 12 years longer than an incandescent lightbulb.

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How do you keep a blonde busy? The best way to keep somebody busy is to make sure they have something to do, like get a job or a hobby or do some chores. The color of their hair is irrelevant.

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A man goes to the doctor and says, "Doc I feel like a pair of curtains!" The doctor replied, "That's probably because you're schizophrenic."

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Arsonist: Hey, did you listen to my mixtape? ... It's really good.

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Where is my tractor?

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A n antelope walks into a bar and many people leave for the sake of their safety and animal control gets called to escort the antelope out of the bar.

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What did Sarah Palin say as she gazed to the West? "I really wish my daughter hadn't gotten pregnant."

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a women walks into a room and says she got a good job..wait thats not possible..

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?". The horse doesn't respond because it neither speaks nor understands English. It is confused by its surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables on the way.

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What will Postman Pat be called after he retires? Pat.

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How Do Bulls Drive Cars? They cant, they have hooves making it impractical for a Bull to Drive a car.

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Har har hey

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light-bulb? I'm melting!

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Sonic

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How is nothing something if it is nothing?...

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The Paralympics! Even if you win, you're still retarded!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops