Why did the little girl fall off of the swing? She had previously been in a car accident, in which all of her close family died and she was the only survivor. Since both her arms were stuck in between crushed components of the car, they had to be amputated on the spot. She was testing out the prosthetic arms she had been given when they failed, causing her to get a concussion, and putting her in a coma for the rest of her life.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why didn't the 13 year old Black boy have any friends? He was autistic and didn't connect properly with people.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

a women walks into a room and says she got a good job..wait thats not possible..

thumb_up thumb_down +11

An American guy, Chinese guy, and Black guy are on a boat. Who jumps off first? Hopefully no one jumps off, especially because the ocean current is strong. They should call the coast guard if they are lost and find a safe way back to shore.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Two astronauts go kayaking in the Sahara Desert. How many pancakes does it take to shingle doghouse? Purple, because ice cream has no bones.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

I hate girls that try to act hard. Like calm down you dont got a dick.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light-bulb? I'm melting!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did humpty dumpty fall off the wall? Because he was pushed.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

why did the bear eat meat? he was hungry

thumb_up thumb_down -9

porcupines love sun bathing in the winter months so it dosent rape their nose hairs

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A man took his son out to play catch. The boy didn't even try to catch the ball. After that the man took his son to the amusement park to have fun. The boy didn't even try to have fun. Then the man took his son to the burger place nearby. Once again the son didn't even touch his food. Finally the man lost his temper and beat his seemingly ungrateful son and cried over the fact that his son was mentally retarded.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why was Tom flunking in school? He had a learning disability.

thumb_up thumb_down -87

How do you keep a mexican from drowning? Take your foot off the back of his head.

thumb_up thumb_down -151

Why did the alligator travel through time? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +128

What's the difference between George W Bush and a doorknob? George W Bush is the president of the United States. A doorknob is a mechanical device that securely closes a hinged door, thereby keeping your family safe from danger.

thumb_up thumb_down +88

pigs are sometimes pink GOSH

thumb_up thumb_down +42

A Mexican, a Jew and an African walk into a bar. Now, it seem it was the Jew's turn to pay for drinks. So, all three ordered drinks, and the Jew paid for them.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

A. Hey.. B. Hi

thumb_up thumb_down +22

iff god whas funny why thit he let your mother be raped and your sister murdered en iff satan whos a ice cream will he taste sweet ?

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A child in Africa developed Malaria. He became very sick and died.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Roses are red Violets are blue I have AIDS and now you do too!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What will Postman Pat be called after he retires? Pat.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Ted Haggard.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What to you do when a monkey walks into your bar? Quietly escort it out and into the nearest zoo.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops