Q: How mature are you on a scale of 1 to 100? A: 69. :)

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PENIS THAT IS ALL!

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I am not under the alkafluence of inkahlol. The drunker I am, the longer I get.

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What do you call a man who stole from a thief? A thief, no matter whom you are stealing from the consequences are dire.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have AIDS and now you do too!

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George Bush.

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Whats plastic and phonie a phone

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Your momma's so fat when she walks into a restaurant she orders salad.

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Why did the black man get a life sentence in prison? Because he was involved a mass stabbing in a night club London which saw 4 local teenage girls lose there lives.

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A 14 year old walks into a bar. The bartender yells "Hey, no minors allowed!" The 14 year old yells back "Excuse me? Do you see a fvcking pickaxe?"

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Why did the person post a real joke with bad grammar and spelling on anti-joke.com? They didn't flippin' understand the point of the website.

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A man enters a bar, and says: "It is impossible to drown in an elevator" This is incorrect.

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wanna hear a joke? katie chandler

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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Your moma's so fat, she's got type 2 diabetes

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what did the blind santa say to the jewish child jewish people don't believe in santa...awkward.

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Why was the little Jewish girl sad? Because neo-Nazis killed her family.

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What was the pirate movie rated? It was rated R for its graphic depiction of the continuing violence in Somalia.

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How many dead lions can feed a bluejay? Bluejays don't eat dead or living lions, so this is highly improbable.

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your mommy so gehto shes black

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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whats brown, lying in a ditch, and is covered in cookie crumbs? a girl scout that got hit by a truck

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How are a bucket and a purple shovel alike? Coincidentally they both are registered sex offenders.

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A man walks into a bar... ouch. He received a minor concussion from the impact of the cement wall, and a slight goose egg on his forehead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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