Uh, "Abel", seriously get over here and then get some sleep, not only did you get the code all wrong, there is no number to be deciphered at all, besides its called a laptop with a battery. Speaking of general dumbass... You have not changed the least, you really remind me of a cruel, sloppy, less disciplined (except the wise cracking thing Nero resorted to to push me away and apparently dodge gun fire, maybe his way of handling nerves. You might look like him, but personality wise you are completely different, cruel, sloppy, graphical, I mean did you ever see Nero get angry? I never did. That said Neo-Nero, you are a nice guy too, especially if you get here fast enough, I mean this place is freezing.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What's the difference between Republicans and Democrats? There is a series of boxes which one can choose to check on a ballot, officially registering an individual with a certain party. Available parties include the Green Party, The American Communist Party, The Republican Party, and the Democratic Party among others. Republicans choose to check the Republican box, Democrats choose to check the Democrat box. Also Republicans are closet homosexuals and Democrats are terrorists.

thumb_up thumb_down -48

Why did Billy cry? He had Pubic Lice

thumb_up thumb_down -48

How's a raven like a writing desk. you really are alice.

thumb_up thumb_down -188

I hate it when i don't forward an email and then i die the next day.

thumb_up thumb_down +139

Why did the car stop? There was a fridge in the road

thumb_up thumb_down +127

Q: How many babies does it take to paint a shed? A: Considering babies are incapable of rational thought it is unlikely they would understand how to employ the correct method to paint.

thumb_up thumb_down +57

Knock Knock Who's there? A package, the UPS man is already back in his truck.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

What's 7+7? 14 you dumbass

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why didn't Hitler drink whiskey? Because it made him mean.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why does Mike Tyson always win his fights? Because he hides in a refridgerator

thumb_up thumb_down +17

An American guy, Chinese guy, and Black guy are on a boat. Who jumps off first? Hopefully no one jumps off, especially because the ocean current is strong. They should call the coast guard if they are lost and find a safe way back to shore.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How do you make a baby cry? Break its legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What is green and fuzzy and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

HEY are you aware of how tired your suitcase is? Sorry, I rest my case.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How can you tell when a lawyer is lying? In most people who lie eyebrows may raise, eyes may widen and gaze may alter, anal sphincter usually tightens, breathing often quickens marginally, external body temperature alters and sweat (and therefore skin electrical conductivity) increases.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's brown and sticky? a stick

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I am colourblind so screw you!

thumb_up thumb_down -17

How do you starve a Mexican? Deny him Food Stamps.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Roses are red Violets are blue Last night I came home to find my entire family murdered....

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

thumb_up thumb_down -67

Chuck Norris is a regular human being, just like the rest of us.

thumb_up thumb_down -69

What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Having a refrigerator fall on you

thumb_up thumb_down -155

What do you get when you cross a dog and a cat? A hybrid animal that can never exist to do each species own genetic make-up which would subsequently reject the other's. I.E. The cat would reject the dog sperm from ever fertilizing and the dog would reject cat sperm.

thumb_up thumb_down +138

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops