Why did the chicken cross the road? To see if he could beat the oncoming car.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What does this joke have in common with a ruphies party? They both have an unpopular punchline.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What did the clerk say and do when he was givng out free food What he did:Gave them What he said:"If you want to get this free, pay $5.00"

thumb_up thumb_down +6

how long has dibey got left like :)

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What do you call a man covered in magnets? Attractive

thumb_up thumb_down -32

How do u know someones running? They leave this????behind

thumb_up thumb_down -38

What's red and invisible? No Tomatoes

thumb_up thumb_down -38

What has wings but is often on the ground? An aircraft that has frequent take-off problems.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

So these two gay guys walk backwards into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -60

How many people can you fit in an oven? A: I Don't know ask a holocaust survivor.

thumb_up thumb_down -60

You know you are from New York when you live in Manhattan.

thumb_up thumb_down +57

Knock Knock. Who's there? Hoo. Who Hoo? You're a barn owl!

thumb_up thumb_down +45

What's worse than seeing your grandma naked. nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

I asked my Grandma if she ever tried 69. And she said, “No, but I have done 53 -- that's all the sailors I could screw in one night.”

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered sex offender

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the dog cross the road? He was on a walk with his owner so they used a crosswalk to safely get back home.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why was 6 afraid of 7? because 7 was black

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How did the black man get a new television? He worked hard and put away a small percentage of his weekly wage in order to save for this new addition to his household.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Are women better than men? Dont know but what we do know is they swing at bigger balls (softballs), shoot from lower basketball nets, do pushups from their knees. Shall I go on?

thumb_up thumb_down -31

How is it you become the true badass you say? Its a very complicated process that takes decades of training, and many failed attempts on before you become the one, true badass on the entire planet. Once you had done it. People will love you forever, there would be parades, parties, celebrations, even a holiday, just for you and you alone. Too bad I'll never tell you.

thumb_up thumb_down -93

I hate it when i don't forward an email and then i die the next day.

thumb_up thumb_down +136

What's the difference between George W Bush and a doorknob? George W Bush is the president of the United States. A doorknob is a mechanical device that securely closes a hinged door, thereby keeping your family safe from danger.

thumb_up thumb_down +90

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops