An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

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Doctor, Doctor, I think I'm a canary! Yes, you are.

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Why don't white people do the right thing? Because we suck

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So these two gay guys walk backwards into a bar.

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Why did Sally drown? She wasn't wearing a life jacket and it was the the seventh time she had fallen off her water skis today. Her father was not coming back this time.

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Why was Tom flunking in school? He had a learning disability.

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How is it you become the true badass you say? Its a very complicated process that takes decades of training, and many failed attempts on before you become the one, true badass on the entire planet. Once you had done it. People will love you forever, there would be parades, parties, celebrations, even a holiday, just for you and you alone. Too bad I'll never tell you.

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did you know that Hellen Keller had a tree house? "no" she didn't know either.

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What do you get when you cross a dog and a cat? A hybrid animal that can never exist to do each species own genetic make-up which would subsequently reject the other's. I.E. The cat would reject the dog sperm from ever fertilizing and the dog would reject cat sperm.

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how do u piss of a polish man? rape his girlfriend

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Roses are green Violets are yellow I have an optical disorder

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Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead Why'd the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first monkey Why'd the third monkey fall out of the tree? peer pressure Why'd the fourth monkey fall out of the tree? his girlfriend broke up with him so he commited suicide Why'd the fifth monkey fall out of the tree? cuz it was a dumbass

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whats worse than Brussels sprouts brussels sprouts that has petite vegetation, lack of sun causing mold and placed in a septic tank.

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How are you this morning?

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Yo mamma's so fat, she died of diabeties and we all mourn her loss.

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What's the difference between a Muslim and a box? A box won't blow you up!

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What happens when you stick your finger in a pencil sharpener? Blood everywhere.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Last night I came home to find my entire family murdered....

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Why did the boy punch his teacher? Muscle spasms.

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Q: What's the meaning of life? A: Look in a Dictionary.

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when life gives you lemmons, chuck em' at beiber

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if a bra is called a over the shoulder boulder holder what is male underware called sincerly, under the butt nut hut

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Q Why is an octopus like a tree? A Haven't the foggiest.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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