A baby seal walks into a club...

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How many boring people does it take to change a light bulb? One.

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why did the boy fall down? he was shot

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Husband: Shut up, there is now playing for Real Madrid Woman: So what? come help me clean. Husband:after the game,now shut up. Woman:Everyone knows Barcelona better... Police: So you're saying your wife fell on the knife alone?

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whats brown, lying in a ditch, and is covered in cookie crumbs? a girl scout that got hit by a truck

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who has brown eyes blonde hair and red lips a human-being

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Here's a joke for u Hahaha suck on it I wasnt going to make u laugh o yea ur mom died

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Why was Hitler a bad person? He killed himself.

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Knock knock Who's there? Yolanda I do not know anyone by that name. I am sorry Oh I must be at the wrong house. My apologies. Oh, it's alright. Have a nice day You too. Take care!

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How do you starve a Mexican? Deny him Food Stamps.

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What's the difference between Republicans and Democrats? There is a series of boxes which one can choose to check on a ballot, officially registering an individual with a certain party. Available parties include the Green Party, The American Communist Party, The Republican Party, and the Democratic Party among others. Republicans choose to check the Republican box, Democrats choose to check the Democrat box. Also Republicans are closet homosexuals and Democrats are terrorists.

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What did the midget say to the clown that was blocking the doorway? Excuse me

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What has four legs, is green and furry, and if it falls out of a tree it will kill you? A pool table.

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A man sees Bill Murray at a restaurant in Los Angeles and tells his friends about the incident. They believe the story, because it is entirely plausible that it actually happened.

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What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Having a refrigerator fall on you

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how does an elephant ask for a bun? may i please have a bun?

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If a tree falls in the forest and it does it make a sound? No, Trees can't talk

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when life gives you lemmons, chuck em' at beiber

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Why did the boy punch his teacher? Muscle spasms.

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Knock knock Who's there? The police. Your husband has been killed in an accident.

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Where is my tractor?

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a man walks into a bar, his alcoholism is slowly destroying his family

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Whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon? Ones fun to hit with a sledgehammer. The other one is a watermelon.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am not using commas That is improper punctuation.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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