What's brown and sticky? a stick

What's green and falls fom a tree? A dump truck. I lied about it being green.

Why don't white people do the right thing? Because we suck

Knock Knock. KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK. ANYBODY HOME?

there are 2 sausages in a pan. one sausage says "wow it's hot in here" and the other sausage says "MY GOD A TALKING SAUSAGE!!!!"

A man walks into a barn the n was not visible

Your mother is so ugly that when she looks in the mirror she feels bad about her appearance.

iff god whas funny why thit he let your mother be raped and your sister murdered en iff satan whos a ice cream will he taste sweet ?

Why couldn't the man find his watch? Because he was mugged by a homeless man and had severe brain damage..... ....and because he left it at the office

A hundred dollar bill falls in the middle of an intersection. Equally distanced from the bill stand a Jew, a Black, a White Supremacist and an Arab. Wouldn't it suck to be on this street? I am sure violence will ensue.

I SHOT SOMEBODY!!!! Said no stormtrooper ever.

Your momma's so fat that when she uses a hoolahoop, she gets tired after one try and has to stop.

What did the deaf, dumb, blind kid get on his birthday? Cancer.

why did jimmy fall of the swing? He had no arms or legs!

Whats gay and has wheels? Alex Egbert, I lied about the wheels

Q: Whats worse than 17 babies in 1 bin. A: 1 baby in 17 bins. Q: Whats worse than that. A: 17 bins in 1 baby.

One day, I was looking at my brand new wooden table, and I thought, "wow, that is a very nice brand new wooden table." And then my dog peed on it. I killed the dog.

If a tree falls in the forest and it does it make a sound? No, Trees can't talk

What do you get when you cross a dog and a cat? A hybrid animal that can never exist to do each species own genetic make-up which would subsequently reject the other's. I.E. The cat would reject the dog sperm from ever fertilizing and the dog would reject cat sperm.

Knock knock. Who's there? Ostrich. Ostrich who? No no I don't have a formal name, I'm just telling you I'm an ostrich.

What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into another apple and finding another worm.

Knock Knock Who's there? A package, the UPS man is already back in his truck.

Why did the dog cross the road? He was on a walk with his owner so they used a crosswalk to safely get back home.

Why does Mike Tyson always win his fights? Because he hides in a refridgerator

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...