A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?". The horse doesn't respond because it neither speaks nor understands English. It is confused by its surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables on the way.

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Two astronauts go kayaking in the Sahara Desert. How many pancakes does it take to shingle doghouse? Purple, because ice cream has no bones.

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My mother-in-law is so ugly I actually feel quite sorry for her.

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Why are asians so smart? Because they study very hard and learn the material.

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A man with a badly injured arm is sitting in a hospital. He says, "Doctor, when my arm heals, will I be able to play the violin?" The doctor says, "With proper medical attention and rest, yes, you will be able to." The man says, "That's great! Before I was hurt, I really enjoyed playing the violin."

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boobs

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Why do you give a blond a gun You dont

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How many Jews died in the Holocaust? Not enough.

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How do u know someones running? They leave this????behind

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Why did Harry get in the taxi? His mother told him to put his seatbelt on.

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You know you are from New York when you live in Manhattan.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Ostrich. Ostrich who? No no I don't have a formal name, I'm just telling you I'm an ostrich.

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when life gives you lemmons, chuck em' at beiber

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Knock Knock Whose there? Lemons Lemons who? The fruit

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What did Christopher Columbus say to his men before they got on the ship? "Men, get on the ship."

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How do you stop a baby from flying? Hit it with a shovel.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Cuz the chicken crossed the road

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am not using commas That is improper punctuation.

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Why did the policeman arrest the black man? He had commited a crime and murdered somebody.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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What's the difference between a Muslim and a box? A box won't blow you up!

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What did the cow say to the bull. they had kids because they shared an interest in being silent.

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there are 2 sausages in a pan. one sausage says "wow it's hot in here" and the other sausage says "MY GOD A TALKING SAUSAGE!!!!"

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My friend told me to break a leg before the show. I disobeyed him and injured no one. It's just a figure of speech.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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