A man walks into a bar. He had to leave promptly because he, according to the law, was too young to be served alcohol.

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Roses are red My binoculars are blue The curtains are open I see you

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Why doesn't Santa come in the summer? Because it's not Christmas.

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What did Jerry Sandusky do when he was alone with 3 little boys? Taught them how to play football.

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Yo mama so fat she sells shade. Yo mama so fat she needs cheat codes for wii fit. Yo mama so fat she in call of duty when a player kills her they get a 5 person kill streak. Yo mama so fat that she is fat. :)

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why did the chicken cros the road? Becuase the all the cars were stopped at the near by red light.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? because 7 was black

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What's better than finding a worm in your apple? -The Holocaust

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What do you get when you mix a racoon and a human. A Smoothie

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What do you do when a bear chases you? Run.

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why was the panda sent to prison? he played a major roll in the bombing of 9-11

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A man waltzes into a bar, waving a carrot in the air. With an arrogant air of self-importance he flops onto a highchair at the bar. Looka here, looka here, he says to the bartender, waiving the carrot at the man. Will you buy me drinks all night, if I can make this carrot... Never mind, and please leave my bar, the bartender says, pulling out a carrot from under the counter. I've got one myself.

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When life gives you skittles, throw them at random people and say "taste the freaking rainbow!"

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the other day i saw a mouse run across my floor. i said "okay" and proceeded with my life

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Why was Tom flunking in school? He had a learning disability.

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How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Trick Question. Baby's aren't smart enough comprehend changing light bulbs

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Shes been dead for some time now.

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How do you keep a blonde busy? The best way to keep somebody busy is to make sure they have something to do, like get a job or a hobby or do some chores. The color of their hair is irrelevant.

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What happened when an atheist burned down the home of a priest? He was arrested, charged with arson and sentenced to 5 years in prison.

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Knock Knock Who's there? It's actually much safer to look through the peep hole than it is to let a stranger know you are home.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Cuz the chicken crossed the road

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Why did the dog cross the road? He was on a walk with his owner so they used a crosswalk to safely get back home.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops