A baby seal walks in to a club... That's it. That's the joke.

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Whenever anybody asks me to help me find something they lost, I say: "Look where it is and you will find it."

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Why did humpty dumpty fall off the wall? Because he was pushed.

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Why did the car slam its brakes on? There was a infant under the bonnet.

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A: Knock knock B: Who’s there? A: The police B: The police who? A: Ma’am, your son is dead.

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Q: What's the meaning of life? A: Look in a Dictionary.

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a short man asked a tall man "hey hows the weather up there"? the tall man couldnt answer cause he was sucked up by a tornado that missed the short man

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PENIS THAT IS ALL!

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I asked a Jewish girl for her number. she rolled up her sleeve.

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HEY are you aware of how tired your suitcase is? Sorry, I rest my case.

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What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education. It is also possible that he was chosen for the position because of acquaintances or family members who were also employed by the company, but many people would consider it impolite to bring up this possibility, as it might be construed as denigrating the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study.

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Q. What is the difference between a bird and a fly? A. A bird can fly, but a fly can't.

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porcupines love sun bathing in the winter months so it dosent rape their nose hairs

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Two Irish men walk into a bar, order a drink and sit down to enjoy the drink and friednly conversation.

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why couldn't the little girl play on the swing? Matty Russel was chasing her

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what is sam ross' favorite word to use in conversation? awesam

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When the black man was driving his car, why did he stop in front of the gun store? Because his car's velocity reached zero at that location.

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What do you get when you put a dog in a cage. Cantaloupes

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Well, honestly I don't know how I feel about meeting you yet, or chatting with you, I never believed I would get to speak, or even less meet "The Nero", I mean as far as I know, nobody that ever worked alongside you ever has... ...By the way, the thing with the metal arm, well I don't have both arms, so yeah, story of my life. I am "Eliza" here too, its not coding, its just me sharing my real part of my life with our followers, and well, they do not make much sense out of it, but I get to share the tale about how Nero saved me, if not in person.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into another apple and finding another worm.

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Grammar ... the difference between knowing your shit, and knowing you're shit.

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What is black and gray? This rectangle and this text.

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Q: Why was the boy sad? A: He dropped his ice cream. Q: Why was the boy mad? A: He dropped his ice cream. Q: Why was the boy in pain? A: Because a clown was ripping off the boys big toes with a hacksaw, all the while causing the small boy emotional pains by killing the boy's orange cat.

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A: Ask me if I'm a truck. B: Are you a truck? A: No.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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