If life gives you lemons, give them back. They were probably stolen, and even if they weren't, lemons are a pretty shitty gift to give someone.

Simon says; "You're adopted."

What do you call a Black pilot? A pilot! What else would you call him, racist!

whats first than finding a worm in your apple? a blonde who asks you why there is a worm in your apple

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered sex offender

Where is my tractor?

roses are red violets are blue i suck at poetry show me your tits

when I shaved this morning....... hairs went down the sink

The Arrowtongue commands the road like a semi-truck. But the Gyrosprinter corners on a dime.

How do you kill a crackhead Put her in a shredder and put the remainings in your ex wifes refrigerator

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I am colourblind so screw you!

they say that cancer can't pass but why do three our your uncles have it

Tyler: Hey, James if you were a cavemen you would die. James: Why? Tyler: Because everybody hates you.

What do you call a car that is green? A Green Car.

Q: What was Jerry Sandusky's defensive philosophy at Penn State? A: Get penetration and always cover the Tight End.

How do you keep a mexican from drowning? Take your foot off the back of his head.

What is the oppisite of water? Dry!

whats funny with two wheels? A kid falling off his bike

An impolite guy walks into a bar... and doesn't apologize to the bar.

20

A man walks into a bar. He had to leave promptly because he, according to the law, was too young to be served alcohol.

Q Why is an octopus like a tree? A Haven't the foggiest.

What was the reason for the confused looking woman staring at the can of frozen Apple juice for twenty minutes? Some cans are difficult to open: The little ring bit comes off when you pull it, and then you have to work out a new way to open it, which takes patience and ingenuity.

why did the chicken cros the road? Becuase the all the cars were stopped at the near by red light.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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