You just read this ..

there once was a man from Afghanistan. Who wanted to bang his brother-istan. they licked and sucked. and kissed then f**ked, he got aids. and never did that-again!

have you ever had african food? neither have they

Why are there clocks on stoves? Because it is a convenient way to tell the time.

Mary had a big white van, a big white van, a big white van, Mary had a big white van, where did my friend go? (sing the song)

whoes considered the best trackstar in the world. the random jamacan who ran onto the field.

You know what makes no cents? 100 cents because 100 cents make a dollar.

What do you do to vegetables to make them taste good? Nothing. They are still people, and they can't speak up for themselves.

I don't want to share my name yet if that is okay, I mean I have not seen you, but you have seen me just saying. Tell me how old you are first, I am 26, or 27, being more or less an orphan since birth details like that kinda lose themselves. And no, its not Eliza, I will wait for you here if you do not mind, there are still people that have thought I am Nero all this while, that`s what worries me, I doubt I can convince them I am chatting with myself this time around.

Why were the 3 men wearing black suits? They just left their mothers funeral, she died of terminal cancer.

What did one hand say to the other? Nothing, you fool, hands don't talk.

what do u say when u see your tv floating in the middle of the night? drop it n*****

What did Helen Keller name her pet dog? dfhiwueghweigw

What did the doctor say to his patient? Doctors are not allowed to give out personal information involving their patients.

What happens when you catch a cold? You sneeze whenever you stand up.

whats brown and smells like poop? poop.

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How did the baby cross the road? .......... It was stapled to the chicken.

If your waiting in a restaurant for a waiter, doesn't that make you a waiter? O.o

What's black, smoking, and sitting at the top of the stairs? Steven Hawking after a house fire.

What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? One is a devotee of the torah, one is a delicious meal.

What do you call a kid with an eye-patch and a speech impediment? Names.

Knock Knock Who's there? Me!! .... me who? Just open the motherf***ing door!! MOM!?! Theres a rapist at the door. MOM: No Jimmy, thats your father

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic And so am I

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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