What did the 3 bears say when they saw goldielocks sleeping in their bed? Nothing. Bears can't talk so they ate her.

What's black and white and red all over. Half a zebra

A: Knock Knock B: ...

knock knock. who's there? Alticka Alticka who? Alticka pudding cup.

A man walks into a bar, purchases a beer, and leaves.

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she no arms

why did the boy drop his ice-cream? because he got hit by a bus

Q: What did jerry sandusky do with little boys alone? A: Teach them how to play football

There was a two car pile up at wal-mart. 50 mexicans were killed.

How many jews can fit into a car? 2 in the front, 3 in the back, 6 million in the ash tray

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Recycling anti-jokes

what do you call an elevator full of white people. a box of crackers

Knock knock. Who's there? Mom. Mom who? SHUT THE F**K UP AND OPEN THE DOOR!!!

How many Polacks does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One. A person's ethnicity or country of origin, or religion for that matter, would have no bearing on one's ability to perform the relatively simple task of installing a light-bulb. Furthermore, there is no reason to use the negative slur 'polack' when referring to a person of Polish descent.

Onions are like loved ones... They are both nouns. And you cry when you cut into them.

How do you put 4 elephants inside a Volkswagen? You'd have to the change the interior design of the car and probably cut most of the roof. How do you put a Giraffe inside a Volkswagen? You ask her nicely to squeeze in between the four elephants...

Knock knock Who's there? Oh. I was just making sound effects.

horses are burgers now ive got the flu watch out tescos because im gonna sue

What's black, white and red and can't turn round in corridors? A nun with a spear through her head

Why do black men like bit butts? Because they can not lie.

Knock Knock! Who's there? Santa isn't real.

What's worse than being a ginger? Being a soulless ginger

You've been in robotics too long if you start talking to your tools. You've been in there way too long if they start talking back!

Why can't Demetrius swim? Because he has a genetic disorder where he is paralyzed from the waste down, so he is therefore incapable of propelling himself through the water

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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