What's the difference between a turtle and a fish? Turtles aren't fish.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because his work office was there and if he had not crossed, he would have had to get back in his car and parked in the company parking space therefore taking more time and costing a small but significant amount of money

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the boy to it's grandad........ UR COuSIN¬

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I will ask you one question, and that will determine whether you can enter Heaven." The man nods nervously. St. Peter asks, "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

MRCANN YOUR A FUCKIN' CARROT LERN 2 FOCKIN SIT IN YER HOLE YA FUCKIN PLANT

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What looks like a duck, smells like a duck and feels like a duck? A duck.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What eats grass and goes MMMMOOOOOOO? A weird person that likes to eat grass and MMMMOOOOOOO

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What is brown and has 15 legs? (They answer "What?") Reply: I don't know I was hoping you would.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the priest do to the little crying boy in an enclosed room? He forgave the boy for his sins. Then he raped him.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Peaches eat leaches, that is why sneaches live on beaches.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the 10-year-old boy get on the computer? He had to finish a project for Social Studies, and it was due the next day.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's brown and sticky? A stick

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the heroin addict get for Christmas? Aids from a used needle.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

So 2 apples are having sex, and one apple sais to the other, I got worms.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q: what do you call a man that see's a unicorn A: hallucinating

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you call a stupid anti-joke? Stupid.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

what do you call some one with no arms and no legs? names.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

The chicks at the bar last night were do hot. The girls weren't half bad either

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Two People go To Africa They have a lovely time they come home then go to Miami Florida after Florida they decide to go to germany sadly there was a plane crash and the two men fell into a pit of acid.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

The government

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the boy cry Because he fell

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's the best part about having sex with a 9 year old in the shower? Pedophilia is a crime, and the people that do it are very sick individuals. The fact that you even thought there was a 'best' part disgusts me.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

ive got nothing funny to say, so this is what its like to be a woman

thumb_up thumb_down -10

If Oscar Meyer had a dog, what breed would it be? A golden retriever.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops