- Anti Joke

Your Mom is so fat, that she went to the doctor's and they told her that she was overweight and needed to get a stomach staple in order to make her lose weight

Why did the dinosaurs go extinct? Well many scientists have theorized that a giant meteor hit the earth causing the extinction of most living things. Also if your christian : Dinosaurs never existed, evolution is the devils work, science is not the answer to the world's problems. Darwin was a foolish man, and thats that.

Why wouldn't Jimmy ever eat his vegetables at dinner? As a young boy, Jimmy watched as a robber entered his house, suffocated his mother by clogging her airway with a cucumber, and escaped with their life savings.

What is funny about 9/11. Nothing you sicko, it was a tragic day for the world.

Yo mama so fat she went on a diet and steadily lost wait

A priest, a minister and a rabbit were seated next to each other on an airplane. They all had to pay for lunch.

A fat man walked into a hot dog.

why cant stevie wonder read? because hes black

Make it? Sodium levels? Means he is eating right? Its not ADHD, the chatter is his way of coping with pain and what I believe is PTSD (dont tell him, he would get mad, if he gets that blank stare while chatting a lot its like he is back in the past for a while, please distract him out of it, but dont tell him anything about that. Give him what he wants, its a secret but Nero masters hypnosis, and he pretty much knows himself to a point far beyond others know themselves, he can sense lies and knows how others are feeling just by the movement of their pupils, their eyes, their breath, the tonality of their voice and lots of things like that, I think thats some sort of hypnosis as well, he uses ritalin in order to focus and shut off pain receptors mentally and stuff I don't understand, I am sure he would not ask for it unless he knew he could take it, he has literally performed surgery on himself before, the kind that would kill anyone unless under strong anesthetics. (removed bullets from the back of his skull, people say its just a myth, but I was there so I know its true) Please trust me on this as weird as it might sound.

Q: Why didn't the man give money to the homeless person on the sidewalk? A: Because he thought that he was faking it. Two days later the homeless person died in an alleyway from starvation. Nobody was there to witness it, and the body was never found.

I forgot my joke about gamblers, but i bet you would have loved it!

What's the difference between a dead baby and a carpet? I don't sell carpets.

There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

A family of five sit on a bench, the bench falls the family die.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

Your Mom is so fat, that she went to the doctor's and they told her that she was overweight and needed to get a stomach staple in order to make her lose weight

What is the biggest lie in everyone's childhood? "School lunch food is actually good."

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has he.

You read the Terms of Service.

Why did the Middle east send Doris a camel's penis? Because Uncle Monty's head was damn tasty

A blonde walks into a bar ouch

Q: What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the car? A: Get in the car.

Are you one of those gay rapists that flame around telling people no all the time?

What do they call Chinese food in China? Food

I am a joke. I am funny.