How do you make a clown cry? Kill his family

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What smells bad and is black, A very dirty dead decomposing body.

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A man goes to the doctor and is told, "you have cancer." He then spends his last days writing a bucket list, but losing his leg in a wood chipper before he could complete a single item on his list

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Oh...okay, good.

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What is a life without options.... an optionless life

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Milkman. Milkman who? I've been coming here for 14 years and you don't even know my name? I helped take your mother to the hospital for crying out loud! I held you in my arms as a baby! And you don't even have the decency to remember MY NAME?! I'm sorry I don't live in a house that allows milk and other groceries to be delivered, I'm sorry that I wasn't born into a nice family with a nice home! I'm sorry that I have had to come here EVERY WEEK FOR FOURTEEN YEARS and you can't even remember my NAME! My name! I left my family for christmas one year to go pick up that elmo doll for you when you were a kid! I saved you from that burning treehouse! I helped you with you're 3rd grade science fair project and you won! YOU WON! We took a picture together that i have kept in my wallet. And i proudly say here's me and timmy. ME AND TIMMY! TIMMY! But no...you don't need to know my name. Well good day sir. You shan't see me again.

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There was once a man who went to the store and walked across a bridge and bought toothpaste and yelled at a hobo and went home and took a nap and then he went back to the park where he talked to an english teacher who told him not to use run-on sentences or she would slap him with a fish.

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CRY

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Why are all black people fast? because all the slow ones are in jail.

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A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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a jew, a latino and an aboriginal walk into a bar this is an example of a great inter-racial comunity

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How Many Blondes does it take to open a fridge. 1 Because most blondes are smart and can open fridges.

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What did Batman say to Robin before getting in the batmobile? Robin, get in the batmobile

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What is the difference between a priest and a nun? Cant you see the nun is dead you insensitive bastard!

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What do you call a zebra without stripes? A stripeless zebra.

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If you don't see banners here, it doesn't mean they are not there...

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? not finding a worm in your apple, i quite like them actualy

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What did the blonde say when she found a dead bird on the sidewalk? "Aww, look at the poor dead bird!"

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What is the answer to the question of life? Over 9000

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What's worse than getting shot in the face? Nothing really because that could leave you seriously handicapped for the remainder of your life or there is a good chance that you are dead.

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What do you call a gay couple with jobs and a kid?? Responsible.

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A homeless guy gets done with his daily work. where does he go? nowhere he is homeless...

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what do you do to gay guy who wants to have anal sex with you? beat him with a steel baseball bat in his face.

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want to hear a funny joke? what a coincidence so do I!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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