How do you get 100 people in one car. You can't.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Unconventional thinking Something else out of one: So sometimes I feel there is something I want right? But I don't feel like I deserve it yet or i hesitate although I fucking want it So I go home, decide to take my time before I decide to buy it, and sit my ass on a chair covered with spikes until I decide it is time to get it, Moral 1: You want to take the better decision but don't feel time is right? Some spikes up your ass is not only the perfect way to change your mind, but in this case an excellent metaphor to why you want to keep doing whats best for you. Moral best: Think if you could get all that time you spent hesitating back, would that not be awesome? What if you just stop hesitating now? Would that not be aweso... Go fuckyourself... Nerometal Fuck Neronism... Cool name though

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the girl fall off the swing? You've already seen this joke at least SIXTY TIMES on this website, so you already know.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Whats great about F***ing twenty one year olds? There's twenty of them.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A women's opinion.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

There are 5 men in a desert a black man a white man a gay a lesbian and a white woman they have no food or water and haven't had any in 3 weeks civilization is 1 mile away how many people live and which ones They all die you can only live 3 days without water.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Statistically 9/11 Americans wont get this joke. But 7/7 British will.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A man is walking down the street when he stumbles upon a school, every school in the area had an American flag outside it, so he sees the flag and atop this flag a man is sitting and he doesn’t look comfortable. Next to the flag pole is a chair with a flag attached to it and the wind is as strong low down. So he looks at the man and says "Sir I think you may be using those wrong." The man on the flagpole says "why?" So he says well this chair is flat and made for sitting and this flag pole has a draw string for the flag. The man atop the flag pole says "I'm sure good will come of this…..im sure." the man says "What good could possibly come of this!" and the man on top of the flag pole looks at him and says "Later……………..you can tell this story to your friends and disappoint them when they find out theirs no punchline."

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How do you mess with Hellen Keller? Re-arrange her furniture.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What starts with F and ends in U C K? firetruck What starts with P and ends in O R N? popcorn What only costs 5 cents on weekends? your mom

thumb_up thumb_down -9

For New Years I want to spend more time with my... Video Games

thumb_up thumb_down -9

why does my ass hurt? you have rectal cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -9

that feels sooooo good. -is what jacob says when his dogs hump his legs

thumb_up thumb_down -9

children of those parents which are childless, are often childless too...

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why was a member of the KKK laughing at another member who was his friend? Because he had just divorced his black wife who he recently found out that he had received AIDS from.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why the chimp fell off the tree? Because it's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q. What is a deaf man's favorite joke? A. Nothing, because he cant hear.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

what did the tomato say when he was cut open? nothing, because vegetables are unable to speak

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do fat kids and whales have in common? Ruth burden

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do you call a penguin in the desert? A penguin.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

squash squash who squash my ass

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A Tatooine moisture farmer, an old man, an astromech droid, and a protocol droid walk into a cantina at Mos Eisley Space Port. The bartender says, "We don't serve their kind here! They'll have to wait outside. We don't want them here." The moisture farmer then says to his droids, "Listen, why don't you wait out by the speeder. We don't want any trouble."

thumb_up thumb_down -11

whos the biggest oaf................................ coasta

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Roses are red, Violets are blue I suck at poetry, Show me your tits

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops