A 8 year old kid and his dad are having quality time at the park,and relax at a nearby picnic bench after a thrilling game of tag."I love you." says the son. The father about to respond,promptly gets shot by 3 stray military issue assault rifle bullets that came from a heated dispute about a stolen car that got way out of hand. He dies,and the kid ran crying a long distance away. After he gets himself in a dark alley with nobody else around he laughs,and mutters "The plan went perfectly!" He pulls out a detonator and presses it. The White House,Washington Monument,and several nuclear power plants across the continental United States blow up,killing millions of people.The child,also in possession of nuclear bombs, holds the entire world hostage and becomes ruler of the entire planet Earth. Fin.

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A man was having problems with his computer, so he called customer service. An Indian man, by the name of Muhammad picked up the phone. This came of no surprise to the man, because Muhammad is the most common name in the world. The man soon found and fixed the problem on his computer and hung up.

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The jets are a good team..

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What did the paraplegic say when he walked? Nothing, paraplegics can't walk.

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I'm getting tired of nazi jokes. ANNE FRANKly I'm quite offended

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What's worse then finding a worm in ur apple? Nothing it sucks and it's a waste of an apple

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why couldnt jimmys feet touch the ground? he was hanging.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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whats worse than jonny james obviously

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what's the difference between a dead baby and a lamborghini? I don't have a lamborghini in my garage!

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A girl hears a noise in the middle of the night in her kitchen downstairs. She walks down halfway through the staircase and asks if anyone is there, as if the intruder will say, "Yes, I'm in the kitchen. Want me to make you a sandwich?" *This will never happen. Movies are stupid when it comes to these scenes. No one will actually ask if anybody is there if they hear a noise in the middle of the night.*

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anti jokes are like chickens. they arent funny at all. which makes them funny...

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A dog walks into a bar and the bartender gives him a bowl of water because it is hot outside and he doesn't want the dog to dehydrate because he could die.

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Q: What's funnier than Women's Rights? A: Nothing.

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There are only three kinds of math teachers: teachers that can count and teachers that can't count

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So 2 apples are having sex, and one apple sais to the other, I got worms.

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What did Batman and Robin say when they were going to the Batmobile? To the Batmobile

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Why was bobby late for school? Because he drove off a bridge.

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knock knock who's there ?? the police now get out !!

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sdfrgtyuki

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Why did the orange put on the sun block? Because it was afraid of turning into a TAN-gerine!

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut

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Q. What's the difference between a bench and a Mexican? A. A bench is an inanimate object used for sitting on while a Mexican is a human being.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? I've often heard that a room with a million monkeys with a million typewriters, given enough time; would eventually reproduce the complete works of Shakespeare. This seems to suggest that if something has an extremely low chance of happening, it will still eventually happen if enough attempts are made. However, I feel that the aforementioned scenario, given enough time to play out, would only result in a room full of dead monkeys. Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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