Why did the house burn down? Obama

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A grasshopper hops into a bar. The bartender looks down at him and says "Hey, we have a drink named after you." the grasshopper looks up at the bartender...then proceeds to hop along because Grasshoppers can't communicate with humans. Then several of the bars patrons looked at the bartender, worried for his mental health.

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What did the Mexican guy get for christmas? Deported

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Yo momma is so stupid, she has no job, five kids, and six weeks to live, due to the fact she spent all her money on cigarettes and now has lung cancer.

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what is so fun about having sex with twenty six year olds? There is a high possibility their breasts have developed, thus equaling more pleasure for you.

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why does little Lucy have no friends? because she is in a wheelchair

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Your mother is so fat she has trouble finding clothes in her size.

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If a girl sleeps with 20 guys, she's a slut. If a guy does the same... He's Gay.

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A man was having problems with his computer, so he called customer service. An Indian man, by the name of Muhammad picked up the phone. This came of no surprise to the man, because Muhammad is the most common name in the world. The man soon found and fixed the problem on his computer and hung up.

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What is yellow and corny? Corn.

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How do you get a woman out of a car? You drive it into a river and her body will float to the top.

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What's the difference between a turtle and a fish? Turtles aren't fish.

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A man walks into a bar, then he leaves and goes home

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These are some questions you should never ask on a first date: When you wipe do you throw your toilet tissue in the toilet or on a trash can? Do you smell your hands after you wipe? Do you you ever look down when you take a dump and see it come out? Have you ever picked your butt and then picked your nose with the same finger?

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what's worse than finding a worm in your apple. finding an apple in your pet worm.

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What do you call a black guy running from the cops? Nothing. He was out for his morning jog and he happened to run by the police.

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A black man and two Mexican men are all in the same car, who's driving? One of the Mexicans.

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Chuck Norris doesn't wait in traffic, he takes the subway

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Whats black, white, and red all over? A severely beaten and bruised man who was found un conscience and robbed in a dark parking lot behind Dennys at 2 o'clock in the morning.

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A cat walks into a bar. What's the first thing it says? Absolutely nothing. It was knocked out.

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What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? I eat pizza.

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Roses are green Violets are grey Tulips are a lighter grey I am colorblind.

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Womens' sports

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Q: What's the difference between black and white? A: A lot...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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