tomorrows international kill and orphan day, how meany of the sad bastard's you plan on baking into dough?

You know what's the least funniest part about cancer? I am about to die in about a month or so.

How do you make an electrician cry? You cut off his friend's penis.

What's the difference between a bird and a fish ? They're both different, except the fish.

Whats the hardest part of eating a vegetable? The wheelchair.

What did the dog say to the astro turf? SHUT UP!! I don't want to here your excuses, put the dishes away when you're done with them or so help me! You see the dog had been abused as a puppy and as a result he was always a bit off.

So two Penn State administrators walk into a butt.

A blonde, a brunette, and a red-head are trapped on a desert island together After many days without food, they resort to cannibalism. The blonde eats the brunette, and the red-head eats the blonde. The red-head eventually dies once the water supply runs out.

Whats the difference between chad woldert and justin beiber? Nothing

What's worse than a dead baby? A pile of dead babies. What's worse than a pile of dead babies? One baby is alive in the middle. What's worse than that? He is eating his way out...

How do black men eat chicken? Chicken goes in bone come out.

Roses are red, Violets are red, Grass is red. OH SHIT THE GARDENS ON FIRE!

4 out of 4 questions. You want to cross the lake, but alligators live in that river. How do you get across? The alligators aren't there. They're all at the lion king's meeting.

When you give your homecoming date flowers, you're really handing them a bouquet of sex organs

people can be soooo loud!!!!!!! sooo loud that they wake up helen keller!!!!!!

What did the mute man say to his mother? Seeing as mute men can't talk, we'll never know

LO LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOPLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOO O O O O O O OLO LOL OL O LO LO LO L OL -LOL GUY

Why did moral man lose his superpowers? Because he read the pointless superpowers section and realized its pointless... Moral: yeah this is my power... :(

Mickey Mouse peed on a house. Just kidding. Micky Mouse isn't real.

Why did Mufasa miss his doctor's appointment? Because he was trampled to death by wildebeest

Q: How many dead babies can you fit into a bathtub? A: Depends on the size of the tub and the size of the babies.

What's big and white and will kill you if it falls from a tree? Your mom.

Where did Sheyanne go during the bombing...... Everywhere

Why Did the boy fall off his bike? Because someone threw a fridge at him

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...