Q: Whats Brown and sticky A: an eagle except for the brown and sticky part

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what did the women say when she saw a tiger maul a rabbit? she didn't see it, she was in the kitchen cooking and ironing

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Your mother is so retarded. How retarded is she? Very retarded.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A bike.

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what did the bannana say to the milk carton. nothing bannanas cant talk and their on the other side of the store

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Two doctors were performing open heart surgery on a 54-year old woman. The surgery was a success, and she is now living comfortably in Portland, OR. She enjoys sweet tea.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am disabled, so please help me poo.

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what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: Wheres my tractor?

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Two muffins are baking in an oven. What does one say to the other? Nothing. They are both inanimate objects and can't speak.

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Autism speaks but not really

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There once was a man who had a penis that was so big, his girlfriend liked it a lot. A year later they got married and had kids, but then the man lost his accounting job and things went downhill.

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What happens when you divide by 0? Sadly, you don't.

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When im invisible you cant see me, i know

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What did the black man get for Kwanza? AIDS

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? No reply cause Kyle got knocked out by the door.

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Why are you so fat? Cause I eat a lot.

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'A blonde', 'a brunette', and 'a redhead' are ways of referring to women who have hair of a certain color.

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why do people copy other people's anti-jokes? because they don't have a life nor an imagination. P.S. if this gets a lot of thumbs ups, expect another one soon from one of those people who copy others anti-jokes...

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A Polar Bear walks into a bar and says to the barman: "Barman! Give me a whiskey and ............................................................coke." The barman says: "Why the big pause?" to which the Polar bear replies: "Well uhm my father had big paws"

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I was at work today and whilst staring at my beautiful colleague I realised how hard it had got. So I quit

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why did the kid cross the road he didnt he had no legs

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What's green, covered in cookie crumbs, and lies in a ditch? A Girl Scout that was hit by a car.

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What did the man with no teeth say? I need some teeth.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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