Roses are red Violets are red Tulips are red Bushes are red Trees are red OH SH*T MY GARDEN IS ON FIRE!!!!!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well it's goal was to get to the other side however unfortunately a giant gorilla picked up a car; threw it at a nearby building causing it to collapse; setting off a massive explosion causing all of the buildings on that side of the street to collapse. As the whole other side of the street was covered in rubble making it impossible for the chicken to get to the other side, so the chicken decided to turn around and go home.

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Q.What has flashing lights and really bad dancing A.Baby haveing an eppilectic fit

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hahah there are so funny that they are so funny that they are so litteral that i make my self make other people laugh so that they poop

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An overzealous adventurer takes a trip to the Congo in Central Africa. While exploring the dense jungles, he accidentally drinks water that is contaminated with a very rare virus. He lives through the pain of the virus for many years. About 10 years after his trip to Africa, researchers discover a cure for the adventurer's virus. He goes to the clinic to get his shot to kill the virus. Exhilarated, the now cured adventurer runs out of the clinic but fails to look both ways while crossing the street and gets hit by and ambulance and dies.

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Knock knock Who's this? Your neighbor Yes can I help you? Hi, I'm new around here, can you help me find the closest gas station? Turn right over there pass 2 traffic lights it will be on your left Okay, thank you You're welcome

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Why are Jews always so clean? Because they never come out of the shower.

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Why is there no Asprin in the rainforest? Because it's financially viable to sell pharmesuticals in the vast, unpopulated rainforest.

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Why did Jimmy throw butter out the window? Because he had down syndrome

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Well, neither has he.

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Patient: "Doctor I think I might be a homosexual." Doctor: "How can you tell?" Patient: "RAAIIINNBOOOOWW!!!"

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Why did the skeleton stay home from the party He was buried in a coffin underground and, as a matter of fact, wasn't actually invited

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock. Knock. Whos there? Not Sarah.

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What's the difference between a corvette and a pile of dead babies? A pile of dead babies is a horrible tragedy.

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What's the difference between Wolfjob and a Jew? Wolfjob is attractive.

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Why did octopus cross the road? Because the road was underwater

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Why was Diana crying? Because she was penetrated.

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Alex watched his grandfather tear up as he told him the terrors of the Holocaust. Apparently killing Jews is hard on people.

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How did the blond know that you like her? You said,"Baby, I like you"

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Wife says to husband, who works is programmer, "Honey get out of bed there is a bug in the bed". Husband says "ok."

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You will NEVER guess what just happened!

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What do you call a hit and run victim with multiple injuries? An ambulance.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? At age two, she contracted an illness that left her blind, deaf, unable to speak, and was considered backwards of intelligence. She lived in a dark and hopeless world of her own, rendering her unable to do anything, let alone drive.

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Why did danielle drop her ice cream cone? Because she was diabetic and had a blood sugar of 5.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops