hey i just met you and this is crazy so heres my number actually is dolan

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What's worse than stepping on a Lego? Leukemia

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Hey, does this smell like chloroform to you?

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why did the mushroom go to the party? because he`s a fungi

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What do you call a man that eats a sandwich? Hungry.

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what's worst than being gay? being black

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knock knock who's there? it's I, your son. ....... what? dad let me in, it's cold! i don't have a son.... but.... i love you... get off my porch, my son is dead to me. (whimper, fading footsteps)

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Why was the priest lying still? Because his son shot him

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Why did the Monkey Fall out of the tree? ..It was dead..

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Johnny woke up christmas morning, went downstairs and opened his presents to find he had an iPhone, iPad,Ps3 Laptop, the full lot. Then his mate came around and Johnny bragged about all the stuff he had got. Then his mate replied," I wish i had cancer".

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Why did the baby die, because he got herpes, so did his mother, there both dead now.

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Why can't Helen Keller Drive? Because she's a women. Why can't Stephen Hawking speak freely with his voice? Because he's autistic.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is a registered sex offender.

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why was 6 jealous of 7? 7 had a huge dick.

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why did the chicken cross the rode? so it can get the seed that is between the two yellow lines, and then he walked back without getting hit by a car.

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Why is Taylor sad? Because she's the middle of a human centipede.

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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What did the pear say to the apple? Fred, you delusions are getting worse and i'm getting a divorce.

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Whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? Jews undergo metabolism, maintain homeostasis, possess a capacity to grow, respond to stimuli, reproduce and, through natural selection, adapt to their environment in successive generations. More complex living organisms can communicate through various means.[1][5] A diverse array of living organisms (life forms) can be found in the biosphere on Earth, and the properties common to these organisms—plants, animals, fungi, protists, archaea, and bacteria—are a carbon- and water-based cellular form with complex organization and heritable genetic information. Pizza does not.

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What's the difference between a tigar and a shark? One's a land mammal.

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Your mom is so fat she wears large clothes

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems make sense. 5

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What do you call a cow with no legs? A leg-less cow

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1234567890? ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops