What did the boy ask the ice cream man? Can I have some ice cream?

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Nickleback.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Q: What's black, blue, and dead? A: My wife after our fight last night.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Your mom is so skinny that she may have anorexia, yet she could treat it so she doesn't die.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

How do you confuse Hellen Keller? You do not, as she is blind and deaf, and partaking in doing so would be the morally wrong thing to do.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What do you call a mulsim that tattles on you for vandilising muslim propaganda Target Practice

thumb_up thumb_down -18

There once was a man from Peru Who dreamed he was eating his shoe He then shortly died in his sleep due to heart failure at the age of 81.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

The blond sold her her car for gass money and then when to a car dealer and asked for a free car if she got drunk for him the car dealer said yes only if i can do what i want with you the blond said what do u want to do to me he said i want to throw u off a cilff the blond said ok

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Your mom is like a tire iron: she's a whore

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What do you call 5 black guys at the bottom of the ocean? scuba divers

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks him, "Why the long face?" The horse did not reply, because horses cannot talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A giant meteor will hit the earth tomorrow.What do you do? Tell everyone I told you so.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

what is the difference between a car salesman and a lawyer? a car salesman sells cars to people while a lawyer is an expert in law.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

what's the difference between a pogo stick and a traffic cone? well for starters, traffic a cones main function is to cordon off areas or alert drivers to certain areas of road that are not to be breached and pogo sticks are used as toys to heighten bouncing. I'll stop here but the list goes on.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Hi, this is luke. Luke, I am your father. I burned my father's body after he died saving my life on a large space station. You're not my father, stop calling.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

roses are red violets are blue everyone is stupid how about you? -I'm not Im black

thumb_up thumb_down -20

why was 6 jealous of 7? 7 had a huge dick.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What do you call a moose with a 12 gauge shotgun bullet through it's head? Open Season

thumb_up thumb_down -20

One day, an Irishman, a Jew and an American were walking home from a long game of golf. "God, that was a long game" said the American, to which the Irishman replied "aye, that it was." The Irishman then turned to the Jew, and asked him how he managed to get two birdies in succession. The Jew, after a moment of deliberation, began to explain. "Well, it all began when I was six. See, there was a mountain right next to Casparia, the village I lived for most of my life back in Wales. Every day, I'd come back from school, and ask my dad why nobody ever attempted to scale the mountain. 'To do so would be an unnecessary risk, son, and people are too busy working to put food and water on the tables for their families to undertake something so foolish.' One night, when insomnia was getting the better of me, I decided to get a better look at the mountain, so I strapped on my boots, my fur coat and some woolly mittens and left for the mountain. After a few hours of walking, I approached the closest hill which gave me a perfect view of the mountain's first peak, and there I spotted a polar bear, mauling a hiker to death." The Jew paused to check the Irishman and the American were following, when the American spoke up; "hold on there, there aren't any polar bears in Casparia!" The Irishman also spoke up; "there isn't even a village called Casparia, well, anywhere!" The Jew smiled slightly, and a few seconds later the smile broke out into a gigantic grin, and he finally replied: "exactly".

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What do you call a person with a cane? someone with a walking disability

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Thank you so much Nero, I have read it and I am crying because I am happy, at first I was worried because I have never cried out of happiness before. But its over. Nero, you underestimate yourself a lot, promise me we will work with that together, sometimes you almost convince me you are as inferior as you say, but then you get out of your shell of doubt your past has caused in you (its not you when you doubt yourself its what they put in you), you are always there when people need you, teach me hypnosis someday and let me remove that part of you which does not allow you to believe in yourself. Dont reply Nero, calm down and sleep, I feel you are allright, I just know.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

FORTY SECONDS!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -20

How do you get a black man out of a tree? Ask him nicely to come down, and if that doesn't work, he will most likely stay up there.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Q: If a hen-and-a-half can lay an egg-and-a-half in a day-and-a-half, how long would it take a peg-legged grasshopper to kick the seeds out of a dill pickle? A: He'd give up.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops