What did walt disney say to the Jew? Nothing. Walt Disney didn't know the man was Jewish and didn't have time to make himself acquainted with the fellow.

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what did the captcha say to the homo sapien? frTrewQui NiolismTU

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What's the best type of silence in a family? None, all families should be open in communication.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by a girl who was knocked off a swing by a fridge.

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -John. -Hey John, come on in.

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Found out my dad was gay the other day. Now I have to take him to dance clubs, take him to musicals and find the man who gave birth to me.

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Whats scary about the asian man driving a car? He was blind

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what did chloe say to alexis? you took my phone

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You come home and find your family dead. What do you do? Take a picture, post it on facebook

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Why did the hipster burn his tongue? He was in a terrible car crash in which the fuel tank exploded.

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Roses are red the grass is green now open your legs and let me fill you with cream

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How do you teach a kid to ski you strap it to the back of a polar bear

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Where did the taxi driver put his suitcase down? celery

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Whats the difference between a mexican and a bench? a mexican is human being, and has no simalarities to an average day wooden bench.

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roses are blue, violets are red, im colorblind

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Why were the 3 men wearing black suits? They just left their mothers funeral, she died of terminal cancer.

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What do you call a dinosaur eating a taco? Nothing, you are high.

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Why did the football coach go to the bank Answer - to get his quarter back

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How to kill a mocking bird? Stab it

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Whats, red, blue, green, yellow, feels like popcorn, looks like jello, tastes like hydrogen peroxide and smells like burning logs? i dont know. i was asking you

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?J?o?k?e?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Earlier that morning the farmer's daughter had inadvertently left the gate to the yard open as she was preoccupied by her worry over a maths test set for that day. She hadn't studied for the test as she was still deeply distressed over her fathers recent heart attack. This, coupled with the added burden of household chores now delegated to her because her mother was out trying to get the west field prepared for sowing, had made her quite forgetful and distracted of late. Whilst several chickens escaped, only one strayed so far that it actually encountered the road facing the farm. After crossing the road and gorging itself in a soy-bean crop, the chicken was struck by a furniture remover's van as it attempted to make its way home. Several hours later the dead chicken was spotted by a Community Mental Health Worker who was doing his bi-weekly rural clinic run. The chicken, being a bantam, caught the eye of the Mental Health worker, who was a keen trout fisherman. "Cool" thought the mental health worker- "those feathers will make for excellent trout flies". He stopped and plucked a handful of the most iridescent blue, green and orange feathers and placed them in an envelope. He rolled himself a cigarette, sat on the trunk of his car and admired the clouds. "God, I love this job", he muttered to no one in particular.

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Why did the spider cross the road? He was stuck to the bottom of my shoe!

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Why is the young Chinese boy crying? Because he is being raped.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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