What do friends and trees have in common? They will both fall over after being hit multiple times with an ax.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and smashed his head on a jagged rock and screamed in anguish. Jill watched in horror as her brother suffered through the agonizing pain. Jack was rushed to the hospital immediately, but despite the doctors' efforts, he died. Jill mourned the loss of her brother for many years after the incident.

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If the camel has seven toes and the armadillo has thirteen, why does your mom pleasure herself to a picture of George Clooney ?

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Why did Tim sit on the chair? Because potato.

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Knock knock Who's there? The bank. We've come to evict you from your house.

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how do you get a clown to fall off a swing? hit it with an axe

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Why did the doctor commit suicide? His wife was recently killed in a car accident and simply could not take the emotional pain!

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Why wasn't jimmy at Paul's party? He died in a fatal car crash and flew out y The windshield and landed in boiling oil then a dog ate him.

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Why did the 100 year old man die? He was really old and his heart stopped beating after his BLT.

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What did the mexican say to the black person? Hey there! How are you today?

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Where did Sally go when the bomb went off? Everywhere.

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How many software professionals does it take to get a file committed to source control? Well, today it took five.

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Nero I know I am being a selffish bastard, but please let me speak with you for ten more minutes or so, I am sorry but its like part of me do not believe its you, we all saw your corpse, attended your funeral, please stick with me, I just feel flustered vulnerable and stupid.

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And so the Lord said unto John "Come forth and receive eternal life," but John came fifth, and won a toaster instead.

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You know what they say... Once you go black you...have gone down the road of diversity and it's impossible to back track and return to ones previous misconceptions.

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how many high school boys does it take to change a light bulb?? idk the light bulb in my bathroom is out and i need to know how many boys to call over to fix it.

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What do animals eat at the beach? Sandwitches

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My grandpa died in the Holocaust He fell from the guard tower

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Roses are red,violets are blue you want me but i dont want you!

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A women walks into a bar which is means she is pretty rich to be able to have a bar in her kitchen

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why are black people good at sports? because i f***ed your mom

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how do you make my dad say oww? throw a baseball bat at him.

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After visiting the dentist, Ke$ha had sixteen cavities because brushing your teeth with bottles of jack causes plaque to build up.

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Why was Andy's resume declined? Because he was molested as a child.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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