What's worse than a cow on the ceiling? - two cows on the ceiling.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

There is a man laying on the floor in a pool of blood and vomit, there is a broken beer bottle in a puddle of beer next to him. He thinks is a sponge.Purple

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did the children say when the magician pulled a rabbit out of his hat? Nothing, but the parents called Animal Control, and the magician was imprisoned after a dog-fighting ring was discovered in Michael Vick's estate.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's worse than a car going backwards on the highway? A steamroller going backwards on the highway.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Me: Ask me if in a giraffe You: Are you a giraffe Me: no

thumb_up thumb_down -7

KOOKABURRA

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's black, white, and red all over? A intro of darkness, then redness then whiteness

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Where do five gay guys walk? Where ever they choose to. this is a free country, where people are free to travel as they please, despite what their sexual orientation may be. Jerk.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did Moses cross the road? He wanted to play Xbox with his friend Jeff. Moses was a 12 year old boy from California.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Q: Why can't a tomato fly a plane? A: Cuz it's a tomato

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did the fan of Justin Beiber say? Nothing there are no fans.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How do you kill a circus? Assuming this is metaphorical usage of the word 'kill', you would withdraw funds, involve the SPCA and offer all the major performers better contracts elsewhere.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Pitbull is Mr. Worldwide because his music sucks everywhere in the world

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did the doctor say to his patient with cancer? "You have cancer...".

thumb_up thumb_down -7

3.14159365358979323846264

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Friends are like potatoes - when you eat them they die.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the chicken cross the road? To avoid being killed in the slaughter house.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do you call a black pilot? A pilot

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Unconventional thinking Something else out of one: So sometimes I feel there is something I want right? But I don't feel like I deserve it yet or i hesitate although I fucking want it So I go home, decide to take my time before I decide to buy it, and sit my ass on a chair covered with spikes until I decide it is time to get it, Moral 1: You want to take the better decision but don't feel time is right? Some spikes up your ass is not only the perfect way to change your mind, but in this case an excellent metaphor to why you want to keep doing whats best for you. Moral best: Think if you could get all that time you spent hesitating back, would that not be awesome? What if you just stop hesitating now? Would that not be aweso... Go fuckyourself... Nerometal Fuck Neronism... Cool name though

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A women's opinion.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What starts with F and ends in U C K? firetruck What starts with P and ends in O R N? popcorn What only costs 5 cents on weekends? your mom

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How do you get 100 people in one car. You can't.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A man is walking down the street when he stumbles upon a school, every school in the area had an American flag outside it, so he sees the flag and atop this flag a man is sitting and he doesn’t look comfortable. Next to the flag pole is a chair with a flag attached to it and the wind is as strong low down. So he looks at the man and says "Sir I think you may be using those wrong." The man on the flagpole says "why?" So he says well this chair is flat and made for sitting and this flag pole has a draw string for the flag. The man atop the flag pole says "I'm sure good will come of this…..im sure." the man says "What good could possibly come of this!" and the man on top of the flag pole looks at him and says "Later……………..you can tell this story to your friends and disappoint them when they find out theirs no punchline."

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops