2 drunk men walk out of a bar, they see a dog on the corner licking himself. One drunk says "man, I wish I could do that" The other drunk says "you might want to pet him first"

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He was. I am sorry, he knows to much, this is for the well being of everyone, including yourself, he will be going down, the order has been given.

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Why was Sally gone for her father's birthday? She went on a camping trip with her friends. Sally's friends were brutally murdered and she was kidnapped. The kidnapper cut off her arms and legs and left her in the middle of a suburban intersection late at night. The autopsy revealed that Sally died from blood loss from losing her limbs. It also revealed that she had contracted a fast growing tumor in her brain which would have most likely killed her within days of the murder anyway. Her family was living in the country illegally so her DNA did not reveal a computer file of her person. Her parents were not informed of her death for years because of this. When it was determined that the victim was the parents' daughter they were arrested for living in the country illegally and were not able to have a funeral.

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look at your sister now look at me now look at your sister now look at me you probably have now realized that you cant see me.

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There once was a man from Nantucket Who was stung on the head by a wasp When asked if it hurt he replied, 'not a bit, and he could do it again if he'd like to.'

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Whats up with your nan? Copious amounts of lsd

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Why did the black man cross the road? To show the chicken that it isn't that hard.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra. His face bumped into something that was soft, squishy, smooth, and round... It was a balloon. Someone was having a birthday party.

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tim has no humor

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You have a birthday party and invite 5 celebrities: Britney spears, Lady Gaga, Hulk Hogan, Barack Obama, and Oprah. Meanwhile, there is a cow in a nearby pasture pooping.

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Basically copying you.

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What if the rest of you value something wrong?

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How do you get an alien baby to sleep? Well, first you need to get an alien baby.

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A racist man walks into an all black church. He has no problem with the people there as he is a black man who hates caucasion people.

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if life gives you the back.. TOUCH HER ASS

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"It smells like up dog in here." "What's up dog?" "Not much, what's up with you?"

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What do you call a black guy driving a plane? A co-pilot

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What happpens when a Jew walks into a wall with a boner? He breaks his nose

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The cast of the 'Jersey Shore' is the worst thing to happen to the Jersey shore

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whats worse, being kicked in the balls or giving birth? losing an arm to meningitis

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How much cocain did Charlie sheen do? Enough to kill 2 and a half men

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Yes, I'll have the cordon bleu, see voo play.

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Roses are red Violets are blue This poem is random Microwave

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A man had two horses. One was black and one was white. He cut the tail of one of them to tell them apart.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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