A man walks into a bar, a man behind him doesn't.

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10+10=20. 20+20=40 40-10=30 I have 2 penises.

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A blonde, brunette, and redhead find a cliff that is supposed to turn you into something which you exclaim upon leaping from the cliff. The brunette jumps off and exclaims: BIRD! She thus falls to her death on a ton of pointy rocks. The other two loot her corpse and walk away.

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Why did the circus clown lose his balance? He had a seizure while on his unicycle, fell off, and bumped his head, leading to significant blunt trauma in the brain. Weeks later, after waking up from a coma, the doctors discover that he can no longer speak anything other than gibberish. His friends and family decide that he cannot go on living this way and decide to pull the plug.

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2 men walk into a bar. 3 come out

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Why did the Mexican jump the fence? He was at his neighbors house and it was shorter to cut through yards than to walk to his house

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ATH: if for every 1 minute for billy is 5 minutes and every 5 minutes is an hour than billy is on acid and needs to come down.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick!

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1 I've been diagnosed with-- 2 I don't give a f*ck, go die in a hole!

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Guess what. I eat weed and smoke yogurt

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What's the difference between a piano and a fish? A piano is an instrument, fish is an animal

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Why did Mark get paralyzed? Because he was a famed football player that went drafted for the 1st pick but was later hit so hard that his spine com pulsed and tore

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Theory: Jesus: Father why must I go die in order to defeat sin, is sin not a product of humans? God: SHHH! You want humans to know they are stronger than us? Real life: Later on the cross Jesus: FATHER WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYY! God: *Thunder* Moral: Makes sense... Kinda? Maybe? A bit? I honestly do not get it :(

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What does a man say to his annoying friend? Please stop annoying me now.

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Q: whats big gray and cant swim A: a castle

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Q-what did the black man say before he crossed the road? A-i wanna cross the road.

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What did George Washingtn say to is men before crossing the Delaware? Men, get in the boat.

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just imagine like a whole mark no imagine like 1000 marks an army of marks ready to conquer

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. The chicken was ran over before it made it to the other side.

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Who's a pedophile and not afraid to show it? The clown from McDonald

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What does the color 9 smell like? Purple, because aliens don't wear hats

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What do you call someone with no body and no nose? Nobody nose.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family!!!!!!!!!!!!!¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡!¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡!!!!!!¡¡¡¡

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What do you call a cat with a pop tart for a body and rainbows flying out of its butt? Nyan Cat

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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