Major League Soccer

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What has three eyes, scales, seventeen stomachs, and can produce milk? Nothing. Nature has not yet evolved any animal to these specifications.

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why did the chicken cross the road. to get to the other side. but it didnt. ROADKILL

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knock knock who's their panda panda who shut up I never said yo name and don't call me black

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A hipster walks into a bar you've never heard of.

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Why was Uncle Monty's head damn tasty? Because he shoved it up a horses arse when it needed a shit.

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JUSTIN BIEBER PERFUME!

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A blonde is elected President of the United States. Half way through her inauguration speech, she forgets how to read.

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There is a newly wed couple, a biker and his biker lady friends. The newly wed man says to his wife, "Pass the honey, honey". One of the biker chicks looks over. Five minutes later the man says to his wife, "Pass the sugar, sugar". They biker chick looks back at them and then asks the biker man, "Why don't you treat us like that?" " You know your right. Pass the bacon... lovely". And from that day on the bikers lived in peace and harmony.

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Q.What has flashing lights and really bad dancing A.Baby haveing an eppilectic fit

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How can a chicken be dirty? It can be covered in dirt!

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Why did the blonde turn red Because some one lit her on fire

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Why do black people like bananas? Because bananas have potassium which therefore gives them bigger muscles, which is why they excel at every sport we white people suck at.

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What do you call a dear with no eyes? no eyed dear what do you call a dear with no head? dead!

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What did Lois say to Peter? Who cares... Family Guy is a stupid show.

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How many women does it take to change a lightbulb. None, Thomas Edison was a man.

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Knock knock. Who's there? I'm sorry I don't know you but I think I might have run over your dog!

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Which is longer? A rope...

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Why was the man sad? Because he found his 80 year old mother had been raped and murdered in her home...

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What happens to men who grow up. They are probably taller

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What did Canada say to America? We will not become apart of the United States where people are known as Fat Nascar lovin hicks!

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What did the woman say when she lost her purse? Where's my purse?

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Adolf Hitler. Adolf Hitler, who? Be quiet and hand over your Jews!

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What do you call a man with no head? Nothing he has no ears.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops