What did the man do after he rented a movie? He watched it

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Q: What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? A: Being caught by the store manager, arrested, convicted, and thrown into jail for petty theft and then getting anally raped for the next 3 months all because you wanted to check an apple without paying for it.

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A:Knock knock B:Who´s there? A:Beat B:Beat who? A:Beat your ass if you don´t open that door!!

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Why did my pussy get wet? Because I splashed him with water. LOL SO FUNNY OMFG DA BEST JOKE EVA!!

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What did the cow say to the chicken? Moo. Moral: Cuckoo!

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Why did the black man fall asleep in the unemployment line? Well, he was dangerously fatigued from having weeped passionately the entire night in the arms of his wife after losing his high-earning job of 20 years and consequently finding out that his only daughter was in a tragic school bus accident.

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At the time my grandfather came round to visit, what was happening in Australia? A giant spider was giving birth.

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Bitch please, you're adopted as well.

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Why was Adam sad? His wife found him cheating with several women which led to a lengthy and messy divorce and him losing custody of his two children and his house.

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Why do people on here submit anti-jokes involving children getting raped or killed? Because the people on this website are sadists. =/

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Why did the grandmother lock her grandson in the closet? Because she didn't love him.

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Why Was Mary Short? She Had No Legs.

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children of those parents which re childless, often are childless too...

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What do you call a black man on steroids? Strong.

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What is green and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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A sad horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" the horse answers "My wife was just diagnosed with terminal cancer."

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Why are you on anti joke? Because your not funny enough to make your own jokes

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whats worse than one week in school? two weeks in school. whats worse than two weeks in school? three weeks in school whats worse than three weeks in school? child abuse, killing animals and murder

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Why did the fireman go to the police station? He didn't go to the police station, he went to the fire station.

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how do you decrease the unemployment figures? abolish lidle, aldi, and netto

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Q. What did the pedophile get when he went to jail? A. Exactly what he wanted.

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Why did Sally's Ice Cream melt? Sally was on Fire

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Moo! I'm a goat!

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What do friends and trees have in common? They will both fall over after being hit multiple times with an ax.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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