What Batman said to Robin before they got in the car? -Get in the car Robin!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, We have condoms, But we didn't use them with you. You were DP'd, Now you have STD.

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Q: Why did the kid drop his icecream cone? A: Because he couldn't hold it he lost his arms in a car accident.

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A black man, a Muslim man, and a Jewish man walk into a bar so the bartender says, "Get the f*** out."

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how do you wake up lady gaga? you set her alarm for the intended time

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Why did the man jump out of the plane? Because the plane was losing fuel fast so he grabbed a parachute and went for it and realized that was the only one left so everyone died a horrible death.

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BOB:john John:what? BOB:4:59 seconds to get rid of it

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yo mama so fat, she weighs 478 pounds and is in high risk of cardiovascular dieses and/or heart failure.

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Why couldn't the chicken cross the road? It had no legs.

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What kind of condoms do cows use? None.

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Several men are in a bar a tall white man named James orders a round of shots for all of the people they all have a fun time untill James gets into a car with Derrick who is not sober they drive right into a sick childrens hospital and cause many frantic wild fires throughout the town. They all end up in jail for an unrelated cause

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Why is the light always red? Because the city has been in an economic depression and does not have the money to fix the traffic light's.

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He was. I am sorry, he knows to much, this is for the well being of everyone, including yourself, he will be going down, the order has been given.

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there was a rich kid strolling in the woods.he saw a bear, HE DIED

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Last night, I awoke to the unsettling sound of an alarm. My initial thought was fire. However, after analyzing the situation, I realized that it was only my alarm clock. I turned off the alarm clock, and got out of bed. Then my brother walked in my room and hit me in the face with a toaster.

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Remember when the new jokes on this sight actually used to be funny?

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What's black and white and red all over? A referee eating a red Popsicle on a hot summers day.

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Two Muffins are in a freezer. The first muffin says "Sure is cold in here." The other muffin sits there untill at a later date eaten because muffins can't talk. The first muffin later is analyzed and dysected by the United States governmant and is classified as alien because again, muffins can't talk.

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About the bible, I did not know, but I can sense I calculate it the same way I make our followers believe that I can tell what catchphra they will get. Your mind is numb but calm, it will remain there until we meet again. I am afraid of saying this, but I wont let fear get to me just yet, your mother told me, she regrets her actions in life, and wants me to tell you that she is watching over you in death, and hopes you will one day forgive her, she tells me that there is a heaven, but only those that can admit their mistakes, agonize over the pain of their actions, until they can forgive themselves for their misdeeds. She says she can wait, but I sense she is doing it because she feels undeserving, which again means that you are not ready, its like the butterfly effect, all things spiritual and on this plane are connected. Take your time, I know you literally cant forgive her yet, because that would not be enough for her to forgive herself now, humans dead or alive, cannot be truly free, until they let go of what hurts them, I will change that within you, so you can forgive her and break the limits in your mind, so you can stop feeling sad for being rightfully angry at someone you love. I just need more energy, more time, and belief in myself, something that requires more energy than it should to keep going, its the balance and connection between things, something I cannot change at the present moment, even if I did my best. Ill see you around dear friend.

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Q:If Ryan Vallee walks into a room what do you do? A:Walk out -Ryan V

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Some people like melon and others like soup.

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How many policemen does it take to change a lightbulb? None they just beat up the room for being black

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A Mexican walked into a bar. He never came back out.

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what is better than your entire family getting brutally murdered applesauce

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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