Q: What do you get when you cross an Elephant and a Rhinoceros? A: Merriam-Webster defines "cross" as "an affliction that tries one's virtue, steadfastness, or patience." This comedic exercise is one such affliction.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

what do jews like the most? money, because they're all greedy fat nosed cunts

thumb_up thumb_down -8

mommy, mommy, the ice cream man is coming can i have a dollar? sure sweetie. YAY! Goes up to ice cream truck, ice cream man asks what would you like little boy, would you like chocolate, vanilla, str.... Ice cream man steals small boy.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down. He has it towed to a service station in the nearest town to be repaired. The mechanic tells him that it may be a while so he might want to take a stroll around town, find something to do for a while and check back a little later for an update. The penguin decides that as it is so hot in the desert town, and he is accustomed to a much cooler climate, he might enjoy a bit of ice cream. He walks to the local ice cream parlor, orders a large vanilla cone, and proceeds to devour the treat in a flash, covering himself in ice cream in the process. He has ice cream on his flippers, his face, and all down his stomach; he is virtually covered in the white, sticky goo. Upon returning to the service station to check in on the mechanic and his car, the mechanic say to him, "Well, it looks like the seal on your head gasket leaked, the transmission is shot, and you appear to be covered in ice cream." To which the penguin replies, "Yes, I have made quite the mess of myself. Today just isn't my day."

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a gun! So I KILL YOU!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

i drive all the time its no big deal open the door and get behind the wheel

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the drug addict say to the doctor? I am a drug addict and am in need of help and rehabilitation.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did Batman and Robin say when they were going to the Batmobile? To the Batmobile

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What are the two biggest jokes in College Football? Auburn and Florida! Roll Tide!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Jimmy and Ted are racing each other at the end ov the street. Jimmy is taller and thinner but Ted has more endurance. Who wins the race? A: the drunk driver

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Whats worse than a bee sting? 2 bee stings Whats worse than 2 bee stings? A car crash Whats worse than a car crash? 3 bee stings

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Knock, Knock Who's there? The FBI

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What does a Chinese girl get for Christmas? New parents...

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Tip for Employers: Avoid hiring unlucky people by immediately tossing half the resumes into the bin.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you call a stupid anti-joke? Stupid.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A tree falls in the woods and no one is around to hear it... Fall on top of a woman and crush her to death

thumb_up thumb_down -8

So 2 apples are having sex, and one apple sais to the other, I got worms.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's brown and sticky? A stick

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q: what do you call a man that see's a unicorn A: hallucinating

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the heroin addict get for Christmas? Aids from a used needle.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the boy to it's grandad........ UR COuSIN¬

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's funnier than the pope in a speedo? Humor is subjective, so answers vary from person to person.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

My son made a tree fort, it burned down.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops