When life gives you lemons.... Impossible life is not a person nor a dispenser of lemons.

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Why don't people say YOLO anymore? They all died in car crashes while texting and driving.

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Jim bean takes out a can of- Let me guess- No.

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what did the african say after he got beat by the cops? wow i really shouldn't have sliced that mans head off.

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two elderly men were sitting in the sun discussing their lives. The first man says "my life was horrible as I had to walk to work uphill in the snow with no boots on a daily basis" The second man looks at the first and replies "you know why my life was horrible?.. I was born a jewish man in Germany during the second world war and was injustly judged and harrassed nearly to death on a daily basis"

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because, the farmer lacked basic fence mending skills.

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Why is a charlie horse called a charlie horse? Well there was this boy charlie and he had a horse and it died in a fire.

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What's the square root of 6739472? Who gives a f***?

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What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger. Unless it's muscular dystrophy.

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Why did lisa fall of her bike? Because her dad threw a refrigerator at her. -JCB

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What was Steve Jobs' favorite fruit? Grapes.

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What's the difference between Nelly and Common? One of them is an artist and one of them is a businessman.

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Q: How do you stop a baby from crying? A: You hit it with brick.

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'Dyslexic man walks into a bar... and orders a pint

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Why wasn't the black man allowed on the golf course? Because a wealthy business man had rented out the entire course for a very important international investor.

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Your momma's so fat that she should really be concerned for her health and seek professional help to manage her weight.

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Guns dont kill people...whoever pulled the trigger kills people

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Why did the man cry when he went to the doctor? He has a terminal illness progressed to the point of cure and would die in 3 hours.

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Knock knock. Why are you saying that, you should actually knock the door. Oh ok.

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did u here bout the guy who found 500 dollars on the ground? yup he is 500 dollars richer

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Q: What's pink and fuzzy? A: Pink Fuzz...

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What do you call a blind man on a jet ski? Dead.

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Q: What's your dog's name ? A: Dog. Q: What's your cat's name ? A: Cat. Q: What's your dick's name A: Pinky

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Jesus can walko water Humans are 70% water I can walk on humans Therefore i am 70% Jesus

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops