Roses are blue, Violets are red, Wow, I screwed up, Give me head.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

whats difference between womens rights now and 10 years ago? nothing, they are both just lies men tell women to make them feel good.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's green and apple-y? You're gay.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why are black people so good at basketball? they can SHOOT, STEAL and RUN.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

My mother has great posture. She's paralyzed from the neck down.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

what did the farmer say when he lost his red tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's worse than getting raped then killed? Getting killed then raped.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Roses are red, Violets are blue. A family is tied-up and screaming for help in my basement.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Once a upon a time there was a boy whom likes cheese. The boy: I like Cheese and thats the end of the story

thumb_up thumb_down +11

an indian woman works at seven eleven. this is because her son has one leg and she needs to pay pay for all the medical needs.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

- Why Mexicans have small steering wheels in their cars? - Because of this they are able to drive a car in handcuffs.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What is something you would not normally find in a china cabinet? Japan

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did Superman say when he forgot his cape? "Where's my cape?"

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the chicken cross the road? The bold and unpredictable female bird escaped under the horror of the fearful fence of which enclosed the innocent chickens. As she wandered towards the nearby city of magic and dreams she approached by a large, empty road. A mysterious, shining object in the distant caught her eye. As she slowly to a shivering step towards the intereging sparkle, she was ran over by a car. EPIC FAIL LOL!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +11

When life gives you lemons. Don't take things from strangers

thumb_up thumb_down +11

If there are 2 narwhals and two apples, why is each of the narwhals happy? Because each is a narwhal.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How does a black man put puzzles together? First, he locates the four corners. Next, he begins filling in the sides. Finally, he uses the picture on the box to fill in the center. It can be a very tedious process if he is not paying attention.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What is both blue and yellow at the same time? Green.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

I know what you do with your right hand. You part-take in everyday activities such as eating, typing, grooming and maneuvering.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

One night I went to this pub, they had a big jar full of $10 notes in top of the bar. I asked the bar tender what was that jar for and he told me that they have a donkey around back and if you make it laugh you win the jar. So i went around the back and i come back around 5 mins later and the donkey was laughing its head off. So i grabbed the jar and told the boys lets hit the clubs.Two weeks later i went to the same pub and they had another jar with $10 notesso i asked the bar tender what that jar was for and he goes to me "that donkey has been laughing ever since you left, now we want the donkey to cry" So I asked for a go and went around the back and when i come back the donkey was crying. as i went to go grab my jar but the bar tender stops and asks me how i did it. the first time i came i told the donkey i had a bigger dick then him.. the 2nd time i showed him.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A man walks into a bar... he is blind so it isn't funny

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What happened to the guy who bought a nice, brand new, plasma screen t.v.? He hanged himself.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Yeah, I mean to be honest with you, I get that one a lot.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops