Knock knock Who's there? Brittney Spears Brittney Spears who? Knock Knock Who's there? Opps I did it again.

"Whats your favorite number?" "9." "Is it because thats your jersey number." "Thats my jersey number?"

How much booze did the homeless man drink? All of it. He is severely depressed.

Roses are red but violets arent blue!!!!!

Q:How do you know if you have a big enough oven? A: If the jew fits

What do you get if you cross a nan and a car? A squashed dead nan who released their bowels and your grandads face who was also dead as they had a cardiac arrest

Why are Jews always so clean? Because they never come out of the shower.

What kind of cheese isn't yours Nacho Cheese actually it depends on the type of cheese that you stole due to your kleptomania

Q: What were Peter's emotions after he bought his $2 million house? A: None, in fact he has no home, family and anyone to help him. his leg is pinned down by a large piece of metal that fell on him while looking for food to eat at a construction site, expect him to die of bleeding in the next 24 hours.

Knock knock ... *No ones home*

A lady in a bank was asked by the clerk to round the sum she wanted to raise from her account. She rounded it several times, but the clerk continued to insist that the sum needs to be rounded. She left the bank confused, with a coupon consisting of completely rounded sum of 691, 88$. Next day she returned with a coupon with a rounded sum of 690,88$. The clerk asked again the lady to round the sum. The lady started helplessly to cry and said she had rounded is already with a harp, and couldn't make it round anymore, she even removed the sharp 1 from the sum.

An owl and a squirrel watch a farmer walk by. The owl turns to the squirrel and says nothing because owls are not capable of human speech. The owl then eats the squirrel because the owl is a bird of prey.

How many black people does it take to complete the simplest task such as washing their own hair? A **** load! thats why slavery was so populer back in the day. (and gays were big then to because they had to shower together to remember to wash their hair).

what happens when you put samuel jackson on a plane with snakes? They make a movie

When life gives you lemons, make beef stew.

What do you call a bunch of black people hanging out in a barn? African American farmers socializing.

What is black and white and red all over. A pile of dead zebras

why does Chuck Norris never get wet in the rain? Because he has a very serviceable umbrella

Why can't vampires go out in the sun? Becuase they don't exist.

you and your family will die tonight

Why did the chicken cross the road? It heard you like to choke the chicken.

Name an American born white man in the NBA. Thats right, you cant

i was scrolling through the anti-jokes and saw one that just said refridgerator. i laughed. penis.

Why did the kid eat his homework because the teacher said it was a piece of cake

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...