So once upon a midnight dreery.... In a galaxy far far away that takes place in the past but resembles a technologically advanced future, an evil sith overlord took an innocent Jedi knight and turned him in a cybernetic killing machine. In the end, he dies

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What did the mute girl say to the other mute girl?

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Whats white, black, and red all over? A penguin on fire

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What happens when you mix a camel and a penguin? A cenguin!

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Why did Daniel Nitz cross the road during rush hour? Because he's an idiot.

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So a 12 year old suicide bomber walks in to a military base and kills 31 soldiers. It happened. Look it up.

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knock knock whos there Aids, now you've got it

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How do you get a clown off a swing set? You throw an axe at his head when he's not looking.

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A man decided to enter the local pun contest. He sent in ten puns. One of them was very witty and he won the contest and felt very good about himself.

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How many alzheimer's patients does it take to change a lightbulb? To get to the other side

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He crossed the road to get to a podium. He then made a lond speech about how chickens should be able to cross a road with out having their motives questioned.

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how many toyota's does it take to pee on a soccer game 900 because isis is a cat vagina

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what do you call a black man living in Brooklyn making over ten-thousand dollars a week? a hard worker

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how do you wake up lady gaga? you set her alarm for the intended time

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A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down. He has it towed to a service station in the nearest town to be repaired. The mechanic tells him that it may be a while so he might want to take a stroll around town, find something to do for a while and check back a little later for an update. The penguin decides that as it is so hot in the desert town, and he is accustomed to a much cooler climate, he might enjoy a bit of ice cream. He walks to the local ice cream parlor, orders a large vanilla cone, and proceeds to devour the treat in a flash, covering himself in ice cream in the process. He has ice cream on his flippers, his face, and all down his stomach; he is virtually covered in the white, sticky goo. Upon returning to the service station to check in on the mechanic and his car, the mechanic say to him, "Well, it looks like the seal on your head gasket leaked, the transmission is shot, and you appear to be covered in ice cream." To which the penguin replies, "Yes, I have made quite the mess of myself. Today just isn't my day."

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A retarded man speaks jibberish, because he is retarded

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Q: A Jew lost a penny, a nickel, and a dime. If he found the nickel and the dime, what didn't he find? A: The Mesiah

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What did the polar bear say when he walked into a sauna? Absolutely nothing because he was a polar bear. I mean seriously, did I even have to ask? Everyone should know that a polar bear is an animal and he wouldn't say anything. If he did it would most likely be a growl or a roar. If you believed that he would have said something you obviously didn't pass the first grade. I finish with the fact that a polar bear would not survive in a sauna because they are accustomed to cold climate. I guess this was just a waste of time.

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In Soviet Russia... People Die for Voicing their Opinions

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There is a wire, Let's put it on fire, The fire spread so did your legs, Now were both lying dead on your bed.

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what do you call a pond filled with frogs having sex with bacteria is burning there insides while a midget with assburgers is chanting "SMACK THAT BADONKADONK!" racism..

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why do i have a pain in my left side i dont know but im scared

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Once upon a time there were three aliens. The first alien landed in a school,The second alien landed in a market, and the third alien landed in a preschool. When the first one landed the teacher asked the students who wants to go to the computer lab,all the students said me! me! me! and the alien learned me! me! me! When the second one landed the businessman asked him what he wanted, and he saw a toy gun and it talks and the gun said gun! gun! gun! and the alien learned it and said gun! gun! gun! Then when the third alien landed one preschooler stole another preschoolers lollipop then he said "He stole my lollipop"! And the alien learned it and said "he stole my lollipop!" Then someone got murdered and the three aliens went there and the murderer detective asked "Who killed that man!" And the first alien said me! Me! Me! "What did you kill him with!" Then the second alien said gun! gun! gun! "Why'd you kill him!" Then the third alien said "He stole my lollipop!" And that's it folks! ????????????????????????????????

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What would Walt Disney be if he were still alive today? Still anti-semetic

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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