how do you get a clown to fall off a swing? hit it with an axe

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Q: There is an Elf King, King Kong, and Godzilla all on the empire state building. Which one jumps first? A: None, because none of them exist.

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Q) How do you get 100 midgets into a Mini? A)You have to manufacture a Mini large enough to accommodate 100 midgets. It wouldn't be street-legal, but at least the problem of getting 100 midgets into a Mini is solved. Q) Did you hear about the two guys who wanted to go to Paris? A) They didn't go! Q) Why did the boy throw his Television out the window? A) Cause it was completely broken. Q. What's the difference between a duck? A. An orange. <<< This is the ultimate tough anti-joke Q: What is red and smells like blue paint? A: Red paint. Q) What did the Hobo get for Xmas? A) Nothing

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what did the boy get after his first communion? unwanted intercourse with his priest that resulted in scaring him for life, until the day he killed himself because he could never get over it.

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what you say to the kid that just hit puberty? your a young man

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Why did the TV fall of a cliff? Because a nice man was donating it to the homeless shelter which hangs over a cliff. The man placed the TV in the back room on the floor. There was a weak spot on the floor and when the fattest homeless person walked over the floor, the floor broke which was a HUGE inconvenience because he TV and the fat man fell through the floor and over the cliff, luckily the TV was plugged in so it was hanging by the cord but an old lady with Alzheimer's forgot that there was a hole in the floor and unplugged the TV so she could clean the switches. In the end the TV fell off the cliff.

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What did the very inquisitive poor black guy say to the very rich white man at the train station? Nothing, they didn't know each other. And they both had their iPods in. And they were at different train stations. And they were in different countries. And the black guy died 20 years ago.

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Why did the man write with a pen on paper? Because he was writing a novel.

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What's yellow and cant walk? The Sun

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Q: What did one muffin say to another? A: Nothing. Muffins don't talk, you idiot.

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Hey I just met you you are a sneaker smell my gym socks and then pick oot throughyour nose

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whats funny about a jew burning? Nothing......

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what the difference between a kettle with a fever and a wooden mallet? I don't remember how the joke ends but your mothers a whore

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Why was Andy's resume declined? Because he was molested as a child.

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how do you make my dad say oww? throw a baseball bat at him.

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After visiting the dentist, Ke$ha had sixteen cavities because brushing your teeth with bottles of jack causes plaque to build up.

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Why is it when birds fly in a "V" shape one side is longer? There's more birds on that side.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is legally blind.

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why are black people good at sports? because i f***ed your mom

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What do animals eat at the beach? Sandwitches

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A women walks into a bar which is means she is pretty rich to be able to have a bar in her kitchen

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What was unprecedented about Roosevelt running for president in 1940? He had polio, he couldn't run!

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What's green and apple-y? You're gay.

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What's worse than getting raped then killed? Getting killed then raped.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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