NEVER

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You all have Aids

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I know what you do with your right hand. You part-take in everyday activities such as eating, typing, grooming and maneuvering.

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Q: What's the difference between a duck? A: An orange.

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If there are 2 narwhals and two apples, why is each of the narwhals happy? Because each is a narwhal.

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One night I went to this pub, they had a big jar full of $10 notes in top of the bar. I asked the bar tender what was that jar for and he told me that they have a donkey around back and if you make it laugh you win the jar. So i went around the back and i come back around 5 mins later and the donkey was laughing its head off. So i grabbed the jar and told the boys lets hit the clubs.Two weeks later i went to the same pub and they had another jar with $10 notesso i asked the bar tender what that jar was for and he goes to me "that donkey has been laughing ever since you left, now we want the donkey to cry" So I asked for a go and went around the back and when i come back the donkey was crying. as i went to go grab my jar but the bar tender stops and asks me how i did it. the first time i came i told the donkey i had a bigger dick then him.. the 2nd time i showed him.

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Knock knock. Who's there? ... Damn knick knockers.

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"Oi Tom" "What Tom?" "What did Tom say to Tom?" He was talking to himself Such a bad anti-joke

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What is both blue and yellow at the same time? Green.

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It's about 3 days from Mother's Day. What do you get her? Nothing. Nothing is a very powerful thing. hehe thats what she said.

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A boy with cancer decides to go skydiving for his 18th bithday. Unfortunately, his parchute doesn't work & he dies before he hits the ground.

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What's woman spelled backwards? Sandwich-maker.

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Whats worse than finding a repeated joke on anti-joke? Nothing.

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Why did the plane crash? Cause the pilot was a loaf of bread

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Knock knock. Who's there? Robert. Robert who? Robert Anderson.

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Why did the chicken smoke weed? Because he was black

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Knock knock Who's there? What are you, blind?

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When will racism end? When everyone's dead.

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How do you get Pikachu on a bus? Pokemon are fictional, therefore Pikachu is fictional, meaning he would never be at a bus station in the real world at all.

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how do you tell a politician that you hate him? politicians can be female, too.

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What did the little boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A Drumset.

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What happens when a blond walks into a bar She buys a drink

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How long can penguins hold their breath underwater? Long enough for you to eat a baby and then cover for it.

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Q: What do you call 5 white guys sitting on a bench? A: A bus stop

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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