What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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ONE DAY THE SKY OPENS AND SUDDENLY Gad: Jews, you are my chosen people! Jews: YAY! GODS CHOSEN! WE ARE GONNA BATHE IN RICHES AND YOU WILL COMMAND US TO RAID AND RAPE LANDS! FOR OURSELVES! AND EVERYTHING! Gad: Eh... Well, actually I was thinking more like... Jews: YAY WE ARE GONNA CONQUER THE WORLD! GAD IS WITH US NAO! Right Gay? I mean Gad... Cough... Gad: Err, well *cough* suuure, I mean... Jews: YAY! WE ARE GADS CHOSEN! WE ARE GONNA GET MIGHTY! Moral: "You do not want to be "Gods chosen" people!" Btw, you telling me Jewsus was not a Jew? Hmm?

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Roses are red Violets are blue and oranges are orange nothing rhymes with orange

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Why did a Monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

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Two polar bears are sitting in a bathtub. One polar says to the other, "Pass the soap please." And the other polar bear says, "No soap, radio!"

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What is a dogs favorite color? Gray due to the fact that they cant see any other color

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What do you call a building full of black people Jail

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Why was the family sad? Their house burnt down.

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*knock knock* "Who's there?" "It's the police, I'm afraid your husband was in a car crash and died."

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Why couldn't 7 multiply itself by 18? Because there were two people having sex in between them.

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Why do females have boobs? So they can breast feed their babies.

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learn the ropes?

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What's blue and smells like red paint. ............blue paint.

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Why did the man have an extremely large nose? It just so happens that both his father and mother had large noses as well and nature took it's course.

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what did the bug say when it got ran over by a car? NOTHING, bugs can't talk

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding an apple in your worm.

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Sometimes I stare at a Frisbee and wonder why it is getting bigger. Then, it hits me.

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What do you call an Arab flying a plane? A terrorist. What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot. What are you racist or something?

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What's the square root of 6739472? Who gives a f***?

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A man walks into a bar... The steal bar hurt his face and had to get stitches.

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The black man leaves the strip club.

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i died. new product by steve jobs

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Knock knock. Who's there? John. John who? I don't have a last name.

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sally has no arms knock knock who's there not sally

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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