Want to hear a dirty joke? Mud.

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Knock knock Who's there? Taco Taco who? Taco bell

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Why is Justin Biber so white? there's nothing in the closet.

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April showers bring May flowers! And what do May flowers bring? Bees. Lots and lots of bees.

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Your mom's so ugly that after being ridiculed for for year she became very self conscience and killed herself. Her family was very sad for many years.

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Why did Sally drop her ice cream? She got hit by a bus. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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How did the young child react when a bullet went through his head? He fell to the ground and his heart stopped beating.

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Whats worse than falling off a bike? rape.

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Students, please find the surface integral.

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What's the difference between a truckload of bowling balls and a truckload of dead babies? You can't unload a truckload of bowling balls with a pitchfork.

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what's worse than finding mommy kissing santa clause ? slave trading

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Why are fire trucks red Well fire trucks have 4 wheels, and they have 8 people in them, 4+8, is 12, there are 12 inches in a foot, a foot is a ruler, Queen Elizabeth was a ruler, Queen Elizabeth was a boat, boats sail the seven seas, fish are in the seven seas, fish have fins, the Finns defeated the Russians, Russians are red, And that is why fire trucks are red.

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Why was the frog sad? Because he had a boy's face stapled to his feet.

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A man walks into a bar, and says to the bartender, "Do you know where the library is located?" The bartender describes to him that the closest library is three blocks down, next to the red brick building with a green roof.

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Two Black Males walk into a bar. A white old lady leaves cautiously. Everyone else stays and has a great time with them as they are actually two very good guys, and funny too.

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A farmer has 17 sheep standing in a field and all but 9 drop down and die. How many sheep are left? It doesn't matter. A CIA sniper guns the farmer down, along with his family and the remaining sheep. The other agents move in and remove all evidence that the government is experimenting with a new nerve agent.

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I took my mum for a big shop the other day, we used the parent and child spot, not like there's an age range on it. - Peter Kay Try parking in the furthest spot away from the shop and you might burn some calories. -Me

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Why did the other reindeer make fun of Rudolph? He had a small penis

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What's worse than having a mouth full of molars? A pole through your chest.

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What's big, red, has green and puple spots and responds to "here boy"? Nothing, not to my knowledge anyway!

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Ahem. Testicles. That is all.

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A man walks into a bar and says he has a talking dog. He is then taken to a mental hospital and diagnosed with schizophrenia.

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What do Helen Keller, Stevie Wonder, and Ray Charles have in common? They were all mentioned in the previous sentence.

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What do you call a black man with a club? Tiger woods.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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