Roses are red Violets are blue I gotta go to the bathroom

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Why do leprechauns laugh when they run through the grass? Because it tickles their nuts.

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How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen do? Enough to kill two and a half men

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Knock Knock Who's there? Not Anne Frank

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What's the difference between an ice cream cone and a pile of dead babies? I don't cum on the ice cream before I eat it.

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What smells like satans pubic hair and dresses like a woman? Vinny Trolia

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Why was six afraid of seven? Seven was black

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8 muslims walk into a bar You know why. Because their suicidal bombing plans were put off until Tuesday

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What do people call the completely paralyzed man with no eyes? David, his name.

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knock knock whos there Aids, now you've got it

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DING DONG! Did you have to ring the doorbell? You just ruined a good knock knock joke!

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Theory: Jesus: Father why must I go die in order to defeat sin, is sin not a product of humans? God: SHHH! You want humans to know they are stronger than us? Real life: Later on the cross Jesus: FATHER WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYY! God: *Thunder* Moral: Makes sense... Kinda? Maybe? A bit? I honestly do not get it :(

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What did one pare say to the other ... ... WE MAKE A GREAT PARE!!!

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Yo mama is so fat , she died of a heart condition

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There was a little girl who went on a walk. She was about 8 years old. An old green stationwagon pulled up to the little girl. He said,"Need a ride?" She shook her head and climbed in. 2 weeks later she was found dead in a ditch. She was raper and murdered

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A man has had too many beers late at night. The bartender says "Sir, I'm going to have to cut you off"

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TEST! ACTUALLY READ THIS! 1. How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator? Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe, and close the door. 2. How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator? Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in the elephant and close the door. 3. The King of the Forest is hosting an animal conference. All the animals attend except one. Which animal does not attend? The Elephant. The elephant is in the refrigerator. You just put him in there. This tests your memory. 4. There is a river you must cross but it is inhabited by crocodiles. How do you manage it? You swim across. All the crocodiles are attending the animal conference.

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What do you do when a man in a corner offers you candy? You walk away.

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A horse walks into a bar. the bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse does not reply because it is a horse. The horse walks out of the bar kicking over some chairs and scaring some people because he is a horse and horses do not belong in public atmospheres.

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An insane individual walks into a bank and asks for $500. The teller refuses since he doesn't have an account, so the individual pulls out a gun and asks the teller again. The teller presses the silent panic button, causing the cops to show up and arrest the gunman, but not before he manages to shoot the teller and the small child standing next two counters over.

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I once heard what I consider the best joke ever: But I am not telling it to you, because this is a the anti-joke section. Moral: You better find the secret "real jokes section" because its there, yeeeeeess yeeeeeeeeees of coursehahahahaha!

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Q: whats worse that sucking at piano A: the world blowing up

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Why is a blonde girl crying in the bathroom? Because she has been bullied and someone broke her nose.

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I'm Donald Trump! Wump wump wump! Win a few Lose a few I'm Donald Trump!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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