Women drivers...

thumb_up thumb_down -39

What happens when you try to rescue a cat from a tree? It jumps on your face, falls down, and dies.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

"Happy Father's Day!" said the little boy to the old man. The old man broke out in tears because he had always wanted to be a father.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Hey do you want to hear the joke about my d**k?? I cant tell it because it's to long

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? At age two, she contracted an illness that left her blind, deaf, unable to speak, and was considered backwards of intelligence. She lived in a dark and hopeless world of her own, rendering her unable to do anything, let alone drive.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Doctor: You want the good news or bad news? Patient: Bad news. Doctor: You have terminal cancer. Patient: What's the good news? Doctor: You have AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Where is the center of the universe? There is no center of the universe! According to the standard theories of cosmology, the universe started with a "Big Bang" about 14 thousand million years ago and has been expanding ever since. Yet there is no center to the expansion; it is the same everywhere. The Big Bang should not be visualised as an ordinary explosion. The universe is not expanding out from a center into space; rather, the whole universe is expanding and it is doing so equally at all places, as far as we can tell. In 1929 Edwin Hubble announced that he had measured the speed of galaxies at different distances from us, and had discovered that the farther they were, the faster they were receding. This might suggest that we are at the center of the expanding universe, but in fact if the universe is expanding uniformly according to Hubble's law, then it will appear to do so from any vantage point. If we see a galaxy B receding from us at 10,000 km/s, an alien in galaxy B will see our galaxy A receding from it at 10,000 km/s in the opposite direction. Another galaxy C twice as far away in the same direction as B will be seen by us as receding at 20,000 km/s. The alien will see it receding at 10,000 km/s:

thumb_up thumb_down -45

Roses are red violits are blue I have ADHD do you like cats?

thumb_up thumb_down -45

Q:Way C'nt U reed tHis? A: Because im retarted -ian surprenant

thumb_up thumb_down -47

How do you make a momma bird not fly back to its nest? Burn it down!!

thumb_up thumb_down -49

How do you drop a raw egg on to the floor without cracking it? Any way you want, it is very hard to crack concrete.

thumb_up thumb_down -61

Why did the cow cross the road? It was escorted by its owner to get to the slaughter-house.

thumb_up thumb_down -63

a black and a mexican are walking down the street, two cops look up to see this and immediately say "shit, this can't be good".

thumb_up thumb_down +58

Where do you send a Jew with ADD? A concentration camp.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Q: Why did the lady retire? A: Because she had been working for numerous years and felt that she needed to spend more time with her family.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

who's that hot blonde at the disco? your mother.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

People say the sky's the limit................................ but there's footprints on the moon.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Why did the old man fall off his bicycle? Because somebody threw a fridge at him.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Where did Susie go when the bomb went of? Everywhere?

thumb_up thumb_down +36

so... how about that airplane food

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Why are Jewish men circumcised? Because it is the norm with that particular religious group to circumcise male infants shortly after birth.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What do chinese people eat? Chinese food.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

don't make holocaust jokes, my grandfather died in the holocaust, he fell out of the birds nest shooting Jews.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What's the difference between an orange? The horse because the vest has no sleeves.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops