A blindman walks into a bar... then a chair, then a pole

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Knock. Knock. Who's there? Pizza guy. Just a minute, I have to grab my wallet.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

You know why the economy is so bad? Years of giving into corporations instead of local business. This moves the profits to the owner of the company instead of mom and pop who will be giving it back to the local community.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What is the difference between finding a dead black man on the street or a dead dog? There are tire marks in front of the dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

once you go black you prefer not to date any white people

thumb_up thumb_down +34

I saw a sign saying Falling Rocks. But no, no it doesn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What do you do if you have a worm in your apple you throw it away

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What did the strawberry say to the strawberry? Nothing because strawberries are fruit and can't talk

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

ONE DAY THE SKY OPENS AND SUDDENLY Gad: Jews, you are my chosen people! Jews: YAY! GODS CHOSEN! WE ARE GONNA BATHE IN RICHES AND YOU WILL COMMAND US TO RAID AND RAPE LANDS! FOR OURSELVES! AND EVERYTHING! Gad: Eh... Well, actually I was thinking more like... Jews: YAY WE ARE GONNA CONQUER THE WORLD! GAD IS WITH US NAO! Right Gay? I mean Gad... Cough... Gad: Err, well *cough* suuure, I mean... Jews: YAY! WE ARE GADS CHOSEN! WE ARE GONNA GET MIGHTY! Moral: "You do not want to be "Gods chosen" people!" Btw, you telling me Jewsus was not a Jew? Hmm?

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Roses are red Violets are blue and oranges are orange nothing rhymes with orange

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Two polar bears are sitting in a bathtub. One polar says to the other, "Pass the soap please." And the other polar bear says, "No soap, radio!"

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What is a dogs favorite color? Gray due to the fact that they cant see any other color

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why do females have boobs? So they can breast feed their babies.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why couldn't 7 multiply itself by 18? Because there were two people having sex in between them.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why did the kid fail? He procrastinated.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

learn the ropes?

thumb_up thumb_down +30

*knock knock* "Who's there?" "It's the police, I'm afraid your husband was in a car crash and died."

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What's blue and smells like red paint. ............blue paint.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why did the man have an extremely large nose? It just so happens that both his father and mother had large noses as well and nature took it's course.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

what did the bug say when it got ran over by a car? NOTHING, bugs can't talk

thumb_up thumb_down +28

I once saw a picture of a man who was bloodily murdered with his testicles replacing his eyes. then i had a nightmare, that was completely unrelated

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What did the ginger say to the blond? Hello, what is your name?

thumb_up thumb_down +26

what's worse than the holocaust? when starbucks puts whip cream in my hot chocolate and I didn't ask for it. created by KA

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops